The Adventures of America and Italy!
by BlueSmerf
Summary: A series of weird adventures involving our favorite hero and pasta lover! T because I'm paranoid.
1. The Thing!

The Adventures Of America and Italy

The Hero and The Italian

The World Meeting went the same as usual, everyone arguing and pissing each other off. Ironically, the meeting wasn't going start for another five minutes, so no one even presented anything. Poland made a comment about Russia's 'like totally uncoolness' which made the bigger country smile happily and explain what he would do the second the meeting finished. Prussia was exclaiming how his awesomeness will fade away if he is stuck in this gloomy place (the meeting was being held in England this time). France was trying to molest all the girl (and a few male) countries, resulting in getting slapped in a total of twenty-seven ways. The North America brothers just walked in and were followed by the Italy brothers. America was trying to convince Canada to let him hold his polar bear and Italy was asking Romano if he knew what they were serving for lunch. Hopefully, it was PASTA~!

"EVERYONE SHUT UP AND GO TO YOUR SEATS!" Germany bellowed, slapping Prussia's bird away from his face. Everyone flashed to their seats and remained quiet, except for America and Italy. They stood at the white board at the front of the room drawing pictures. America was drawing a super hero and Italy was drawing spaghetti with meatballs.

"SIT DOWN YOU BLOODY WANKERS!" England said, concealing the Queen's diary full of America's childhood pictures. Romano rolled his eyes and pretended he didn't know what was going on. Canada was sitting awkwardly stiff underneath Russia...who was sitting on him...again.

America nudged Italy slightly and whispered, "What's a wanker?" Italy turned and whispered slightly confused, "Ve~ I was hoping you knew." America laughed laughed and continued to draw on the board with Italy. Germany abruptly stood up and took both of their ears. Then dragged them both to their seats while they whined sadly about him being a meanie.

"Now that that's out the way the awesome me wants to say something!" Prussia announced loudly, "I think all of you should agree to be my colony and follow what I say. Knowing me I am never wrong."

"That is total bullocks! I'm the only one in this entire room even knows how to spell gentleman! If anyone if going to become an empire it's going to be me!" England screeched.

"You shall become one with me, da?" Russia said, a dark mist encircling him and the forgotten Canada. France stood up and exclaimed, "All of you are so tacky and tasteless that without me this world would have no color whatsoever."

That's when the room exploded. Not literally! Yet...but the point is, the room was in chaos! Papers fluttered through the air as chairs and shoes whizzed by peoples heads. Russia was smacking random people, England was putting curses on people, France was walking around the room with his rape face on, Canada was trying to find his polar bear, Romano was eating a tomato, Spain was trying to take the tomato away from him, Greece was...sleeping, Japan remained silent staring at everyone motionlessly, China was nagging Japan to say something, and Germany had his eyes clenched closed. Unsurprisingly, he snapped, "WHAT DID I SAY! SHUT UP YOU MORONS! EVERYONE WILL GET A CHANCE TO SAY SOMETHING! NO ON E IS STARTING AN EMPIRE! NOW CALM DOWN!"

Everyone grumbled but returned to their seats. Suddenly, England noticed something, "Where's America and Italy?" Everyone turned and saw the door creaked open just enough for a tall American and a small Italian to slip out.

"Dude! That was awesome! They didn't even notice!" America said, pumping his fists in the air wildly.

"Ve~ They didn't even know we left! I didn't know England's face could get so red! I love World Meetings!" Italy said happily, skipping down the hall next to America. When they had noticed everyone fighting, the slipped out the door ran like there was no tomorrow. They got to the door just to see that it was raining.

"Wasn't it raining like this when we got here?" America asked, watching the never ending down poor. "We're in London, but it was like this at the hotel we're staying at a few miles away...I think this is why England reads a lot." Italy said, trying to see his car through the rain. When he spotted his small red car his expression immediately brightened, "America~! Let's take my car, I think it's closer!"

"Alright, dude! When we get to the hotel, let's watch the new horror movie I got! It's a real classic!"

"Yay~! Movie night!"

Italy had finally managed to get home, this time only using ONE tire! "Ve~! I'm getting better at this!" Italy cheered as they pulled into the hotel's underground garage. "Dude! Did you see the way we swerved off the road, then on to it, then off it again! WOO! Best car ride EVER!"

The two countries got out of the car and walked to the elevator. All the way to their room they sang, "We're the TWO best friends that anyone could have! Cause we're the two best friends that anyone could have!"

They ran into their rooms, changed into their pajamas then bounced onto the couch. Italy had the movie box and was flipping through the films while America got up and found some microwavable popcorn. Suddenly, the room went dark. Italy screamed and America ran into the wall trying to get out of the kitchen.

Italy felt for the drawer and found the flashlight and flicked it on to see America holding his head standing in the hallway. "Ve~ Why does this always happen to us?" Italy asked, sadly. America exclaimed, "I know, dude! What kind of crack comedy is this crap?"

They went out of the hotel room and back down to the garage. "Ve~ Want to drive around England? We can try to find Stonehenge!"

"No, dude! This is England! That means we are surrounded by British people! Do you know what this means?"

"WE SHOULD DO THAT THING!"

"HELL YEAH, WE SHOULD!"

And the two drove off into the rain, going to do something that apparently involves British people.

Back at the World Conference Meeting, everyone sat in a circle in the middle of the room. There was a flashlight in the middle pointing up at the ceiling, revealing everyone's face. The power had gone out when it was Canada's turn, and now everyone was sitting on the old, dusty floor with sour expressions on their faces.

"This is all your fault! You damn albino bastard!" Romano screamed, pointing at Prussia. "It isn't my fault that those guys left! Maybe my awesomeness intimidated them into leaving"

"Maybe they went home. They never did have good attention spans. I bet they're probably goofy around at the hotel as we speak." Canada said, well...whispered. No one heard him.

"England, do you have any knowledge of when the rain will stop?" Germany asked in his no nonsense tone.

"They said on the weather channel this morning that it'll last until three. My guess is that it'll lighten up in at least an hour or so." England said gloomily. Everyone sighed, that meant they would be stuck together for a whole hour. France's brightened at this news and his rape face started to appear.

"Amigos! Cheer up! Todavía se pueden divertir!" Spain said excitedly, ignoring the looks everyone gave him.

"This weather does not bother me. In my country, we have snow instead of rain making hard for us to be happy. Rain doesn't freeze you to death. I don't see why you guys are so sad." Russia said happily, no noticing everyone's obvious shivers.

"This is, like, totally lame!" Poland said, crossing his arms, " If you guys just kept an eye on America and Italy, I could've tested out the rockets on the bottom of my place and flown us out of here."

"I hate all of you." Switzerland grumbled, polishing his peace prize. After a while the arguments died out, leaving the room silent and incredibly awkward. England's then popped up at the sudden realization of something.

"They're gonna do that thing." He muttered.

"What thing?" Prussia asked, "The awesome one wants to know!"

"They-"

England was interrupted by the lights turning on and the doors bursting open. There stood America and Italy covered in red and white paint, wearing party hats, had no shoes, and had matching capes.

"HEY GUYS! GUESS WHAT WE DID?"


	2. A Day At The Zoo!

**A/N: Hi peoples! BlueSmerf here and I know I should be focusing on my other stories now but, this one is too much fun and plus I'm running out of ideas on the other one...This chapter shall be: Awesome! Or at least to the level of Prussia awesomeness.**

**Linebreak**

America had just come into the World Conference, his bomber jacket swish behind him like a cape as he exclaimed, "There's no need to fear! THE HERO IS HERE!"

"What are you, Underdog?" England sneered drinking his tea. America bounced over to wearing England sat and yelled into his ear, "WOOF!" Causing the Brit to jump out of his chair and to screech like a cat. Canada appeared behind America and whispered, "That was kind of mean Al...Maybe you should have let that one go..."

"Dude, stop whispering! Learn English! LEARN. ENGLISH!" America demanded. Canada quirked an eyebrow and said, "I was speaking English...and I was talking normally...it's just my voice."

"Then you should get your money back," Romano huffed, "Although if my brother could learn to talk like you, then my life would be A LOT less annoying."

"Now that's just mean!" Italy whined, trailing behind his brother like a puppy. America agreed with Italy and the two countries ran to the white board once again. This time they worked together on a picture, it was the two of them in a rocket flying to the moon. Half of it had the American flag painted on and the other had the Italian flag painted on. The two of them were looking out a window.

"Can you two stop being morons for one minute so we can continue?" England questioned, his face growing red from irritation. Italy stopped drawing and went over to England. "Wow! Your face looks like a tomato England!" Italy squealed as he poked England's face. America laughed and started to poke him too.

"My awesomeness has arrived! You may now applaud." Prussia said, his hands in the air. Gilbert, Prussia's bird, fluttered around his head in a frenzy, chirping and trying to get everyone's attention. Russia sat quietly at his spot, his corner of the room growing darker and darker.

"Everyone take your seats," Germany said, walking in wearing a crisp gray suit with German flag print on the tie, "Everyone we have a lot to discuss, so please no fooling around today do I make myself clear?" Everyone but America and Italy nodded because they were finishing their drawing on the white board. Germany spun both of them around, leaned forward, and said with utter seriousness, "I said, 'Do I make myself clear?'"

"Okay dude!"

"Yes sir!"

Both nations scampered back to their seats. France raised his hand to speak, the other countries could already see the sparkles flying off of him. "Yes, France?" Germany asked, exhausted.

"I believe since everyone hear 'as bland clothes, should have a new line of clothing! Anything gray, brown, or tan will be thrown. From now on, _I _shall design your new and improved outfits!"

"That's the most stupid thing I have heard in my life. Another thing, why can't you pronounce H's? Really it's not that hard? Say 'huh'!" England began to ramble about the proper way to talk.

"France, you cannot just change the outfits," Poland said, "You have to, like, take away their totally lame personalities."

"Become one with me, da?" Russia said creepily. Romano grabbed a tomato from out his and his brother's suitcase and began to eat it as Spain lectured him on manners. Italy slid out of his seat and walked back over to the white board, unnoticed, and continued to draw. America, seeing Italy, did the same and drew some more on the board. They began to draw themselves...partying with aliens.

"If you don't shut up I'll hit you all with my peace prize!" Switzerland said angrily. No one gave a shit, though.

"Shut..up...bastards..." Romano swore between every bite. Spain gave up and just tried to get the tomato out of his mouth. Prussia was laughing and running around the room, stopping every so often to watch a fight. Belarus was growling at everyone who came near Russia. Poland was poking her with a stick, smiling like he wasn't facing his death.

"EVERYONE SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP! CAN WE JUST GET THROUGH THIS, oh forget it!" Germany said, punching Prussia, stopping him in mid-run. Soon, the meeting was over and everyone left. Some laughing, some limping, and one mad about not getting anything done (I think you can guess).

"WHO WANTS TO GO TO THE ZOO?" America yelled. Italy bopped up and down behind him wearing a hat that had panda ears on them. Surprisingly, about half the countries turned around. China's eyes went wide when he saw Italy's hat and yelled, "PANDA! I want a panda hat! Let me come, aru!"

"Okay, dude! Anyone else! It's on me!" America said, waving his wallet in the air. England shifted uncomfortably and said, "I suppose I could join you...I don't have anything else I need to attend to."

"The awesome me shall come as well!" Prussia announced, his bird landing on his head. Of course then Germany had to say he would go.

"Woohoo! Six of us goin' to the zoo! Be jealous!" America yelled, ran out the door along side Italy. Everyone else followed with less enthusiasm. They piled into America's dark blue jeep and set off to the zoo.

Linebreak

"Ve~We made it!" Italy said, bouncing up and down in the passenger seat. The other countries sat in the back, they were packed together and some had to share a seat belt.

"Why couldn't we all just meet here in our own cars?" England said, unable to move his arms under the belt he shared with China.

"Because now we can be together~!" Italy said cheerfully, "It would be no fun with all of us alone in our own cars. Ve~America also has an amazing stereo!"

"Thanks dude! Just got it installed! Look at what this one does!" America pushed a red button (oh no) and the whole car started bouncing. It actually got off the ground! Italy and America cheered and laughed as the other countries screamed in horror.

"Turn it off! TURN IT OFF!" Germany yelled as Prussia landed on him. America pushed the button again and the car stopped immediately. They drove into the Panda lot (courtesy of China) and filed out of the car. America and Italy sped to the entrance and the four others followed carelessly. They bought tickets and a map, then met in the middle of the lobby.

"Okay where to first?" America asked. China immediately shouted, "!"

"How about we go see the pandas?" England asked, sarcastically of course. They walked down the maze of hallways and found the entrance to the Panda exhibit.

Linebreak

Soon, China, England, Prussia, and Germany all found themselves in the middle of the meerkat maze looking for America and Italy. They had somehow been convinced to let them go into the maze...ALONE. So now the band of misfits had to find them.

"Where the bloody hell are they? It's bloody hard to get stuck in a maze for three year olds." England grumbled.

"Hey, with those two dumbasses, anything is possible." Prussia chuckled. Germany swatted his head and continued looking.

"Maybe they get out of the maze and are somewhere in the zoo, aru?" China suggested, holding a stuffed panda and wearing a panda hat.

"Now, we have to think rationally about this, if you were America and Italy-"

"I'd kill myself." England interrupted.

"No! You vould find the most entertaining thing at this stupid place. So that means..." Germany trailed off.

"Oh no."

Linebreak

America laughed full heartedly along with Italy as they lead the giant group of peacocks. Some moron left the door to the bird show unlocked, so technically it was all their fault. The peacocks ran behind the two nations, feathers flying everywhere. An eagle rested on America's head while a hoopoe rested on Italy's, the two birds somehow kept their balance as the two friends ran.

"Ve~I love the zoo!" Italy yelled, the bird on his head chirped in delight. Soon they came across the polar bear exhibit.

America turned to Italy and said, "Dude, you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?"

"Let's go~!"

Linebreak

After thirty more minutes of walking, the four older countries had gotten to the main lobby of the zoo and peered at the map by the entrance.

"Okay, so according to this the three most popular activities are: the Bird show, the Dolphin show, and the Light show the happens at night." England read off.

"Okay, let's start at the Bird Show." Germany said.

"Sorry, folks!" A nearby employer said, "Bird Show was canceled, all the peacocks are gone. Along with the hoopoe and the eagle. Too bad, those last two birds were the main events at the end."

That caused all of the nations' faces to turn white.

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America and Italy cheered as they rode the giant white bear behind the glass. Little kids watched them from inside and cheered in joy. Parents were completely horrified but not so much that they didn't film them.

"Ve~We should try to see if it can swim!" Italy cried joyfully.

"Dude, I like the way you think! Onward polar bear!" America commanded, puffing out his chest.

And with that the two countries and the bear disappeared under the water.

Linebreak

"Of all places for them to cause mischief in, it had to be the zoo! Why don't we ever learn? Those two set the kitchen on fire WASHING DISHES!" England bellowed as he looked at the emptied bird cages.

"I think it's pretty awesome!" Prussia announced, looking at the little yellow birds that looked like his own.

"It's not awesome! It's idiotic! You need to set your priorities straight!" Germany yelled at his brother, "Now everyone, knowing those two idiots, they must moved onto the Dolphin Show...we might be too late to get tickets though..."

"What the bloody hell does that matter? We just waiting in the exit for them to come out. That or wait for some sort of explosion..." England muttered the last part. And with that, they headed to the Aquatic area.

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"Ve~What should we do now America?" Italy asked, wringing out his curl.

"Hmmm...I heard they have a Light Show!" America suggested.

"We should ask if they can put us in it! We can have our faces light up the sky~!" Italy said, dreamily. America paused. Thought about it. Three. Two. One.

"DUDE, THAT WOULD BE AMAZING!"

They then left the polar bear exhibit and headed for the managers office. They knocked twice and the door opened revealing a plump man in an expensive suit. He looked like the character on monopoly games.

"How can I help you fine fellows?" He said in a deep, jolly voice. America and Italy looked at each other before smiling.

"We would like a favor!"

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"The show ended a half an hour ago, aru. Maybe they went to an exhibit instead. I'll go check the pandas."

"Hold it, China. You have a point on the show, but where else would they be? We checked those most highly recommended places in the zoo. I thought anywhere else would be boring to them."

"The awesome me is getting bored. I want to find those two idiots and leave. Zoos lose their epicness after an hour or so."

"Epicness isn't a word."

"I beg to differ."

"Can you two wankers stop it! The sooner we find those gits the better! Now think carefully gentlemen! We have checked the Bird Show, the panda exhibit at least thirty times, and now the Dolphin Show...What else could they possibly like?"

"The awesomeness of the Light Show would grab anyone's attention! Only, West gets constipated if anything exciting were to happen."

"I would slap you if didn't make such a good point."

"You get constipated if you get excited?"

"No! The Light Show is the only thing left!"

"TO THE LIGHT SHOW!"

"SHUT UP!"

"I SAY WE STILL GO TO THE PANDAS!"

Linebreak

"You two are fine young men, but we can't put your faces in the light show unless you pay good money for it." The man explained sadly. He kind of wanted their faces up there too, but rules were rules. Unless America and Italy are involved.

"How much dude?" America asked pulling out a checkbook.

"It's far too expensive...But since I would like to see you up there too, I'll lower it seventy-five percent. Two hundred dollars." The man said with a big smile.

"We'll split it. I'll pay one hundred and you pay the other." Italy said, pulling out his checkbook as well.

"Sounds good to me." They scribbled down the amount, signed it, then handed it the man.

"Very good! Now, what do you want your colors to be?"

"Ve~Red, white, and green, please!"

"I'll take red, white, and blue, dude!"

"Ah! The colors of America and Italy! How nice!"

The two secret countries just smiled.

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"The Light Show is going to start at any moment, aru!" China said, sitting down on a spot in front.

"Fine...We'll watch the show, but then it's right back to finding the idiots!" England said, sitting next to China. Prussia plopped himself next to the Brit and announced, "The awesome me approves."

Germany sat next to his brother. Everything went dark and the crowd went silent. Suddenly, there were flashes of pictures. Blue hippos and gorillas, purple parrots and hawks, orange giraffes and armadillos. Then, the eyes of the four nations went line as the sky lit up with America's and Italy's faces and underneath the faces were their names, "Alfred and Feliciano". America and his name were in red, white, and blue while Italy's had his face and name in red, white and green.

"I really, REALLY shouldn't be surprised." England whispered, his eyebrows going almost to his hairline.

"Hey, dudes! Do ya like it?"

"It looks so magical~!"

The rest of the evening was silence, except for America and Italy chattering about their adventure.

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**A/N: So for those of you wondering, a hoopoe is a bird that migrates to Italy and is supposed to be rare apparently. 2 reviews = 1 chapter! BlueSmerf out!**


	3. Mall of America

**A/N: I'm here! I'm here! What did I miss? Nothing...ok. I just wanted to say thank you to the people actually reading this. In all honesty it's just me and an old, crappy computer. So thank you all! I think this my most successful story so far. Well, this is my second story sooo...Yea!**

**Disclaimer: I haven't done this for the first two chapters...SORRY DON'T KILL ME! PLEASE!**

**Anyway, with that mental breakdown over, enjoy the new chapter!**

* * *

"Dudes! Who wants to go on a road trip?" America shouted over the fight in the meeting. Italy's head shot up and asked, "Where to, America?"

"We're going to...MINNESOTA!" America screamed, pumping his fists in the air. Everyone froze at this. Out of all the crazy and insane places America would want to go...Why Minnesota? England was the first to come back to his senses.

"Um...Why Minnesota? You do know that for about half the year it's either freezing your bum off cold or fry an egg on a sidewalk hot."

"Dude what's with all the metaphors?" America asked. England shook his head and took a seat in the corner of the room, then continued reading a British magazine. Italy popped up next to America and poked his shoulder.

"But why did you pick Minnesota~? It's name is fun to say though. Minnesota~!" Italy lost his train of thought and began to say Minnesota in every possible way...Until, Romano slapped him.

"Dude! That's where the Mall of America is! It's the biggest mall in my country and one of the biggest in the world! It has an amusement park built right in the middle of it! I talked to the owner and I was able to rent it out for the WHOLE DAY!"

"VE~!" Italy yelled in excitement.

"Wait a bloody minute! How did you manage that?"

"It's hard to say no to your own country." Canada whispered to England, "And America isn't exactly secretive about it."

"I'm gonna take that as a compliment!" America said, as he wrapped his arm around Canada's shoulders.

"So who's in?" America asked.

"Ve~I wanna go!"

"Fine, but just to keep your bloody ass out of trouble!"

"The awesome me wants to see the roller coaster!"

"I, like, want to see this place."

"I would like to check out the extensive clothing stores."

"I would like to go..."

"Okay, so it's going to be me, Italy, England, Prussia, Poland, France, and Canadia! Let's go dudes!" And with that, America lead the group of seven out of the building and in his car.

* * *

"How many times do I have to tell you, WE CAN'T FIT BACK HERE!" England screeched, trapped in between France and Prussia.

"Dude! I'm the only one who knows where it is! How would you be able to find it! You got lost when you were following a GPS to the World Meeting!" America teased, Italy giggled and continued to play on his Game Boy.

"Where did you get that Italy?" France asked, his hand going towards England's leg.

"Do it and I'll rip that sorry excuse for a beard right off your bloody face!"

"Ve~America is letting me borrow it! He wanted me to help him beat this game! Yea~! RAINBOW BRIDGE!"  
"WOO! HELL YEA!" America screamed, then turning on the radio, blasting it up to the top. Suddenly, Double Rainbow started to blast through the car and America and Italy sang along. Shouting at the top of their lungs, "DOUBLE RAINBOW ALL THE ACROSS THE SKY! YEA! YEA! SO INTENSE!"

"MY AWESOME EARS ARE BLEEDING!" Prussia screamed, his bird stopped flying and was trying to hide in his jacket. Poland was exclaiming, "THIS IS SO LAME, IT'S LAMENESS IS OVER POWERING ME! SO! MUCH! LAAAAMMMMMEEEE!"

America shut off the radio ten minutes later and announced, "We're here!" He parked on the top level of the mall and hopped out. Once all of the nations piled out of the car, America locked his car and showed them to the entrance.

"Excuse me, sir. Mall's closed for today. Come back another time." A mall cop said, under a thick mustache. While America looked for his ID, Italy began to poke the man's mustache. It was so thick, his finger disappeared under the hair, causing him and America to go, "Ooh"

"Please, respect the uniform." The man said, trying to keep his patience.

"But, Mr. Police Guy~! Your mustache is so thick and fluffy~!" Italy said, not noticing the pink color growing over the man's face.

"Here it is, dude!" America said with a giant smile.

"Oh, I beg your pardon! Come with me, Mr. Jones." Said the man unlocking the doors.

America giggled and whispered to England, "He called me Mister Jones. I feel fancy."

"If only you could live up to that name..." England muttered, trailing behind the American. They walked into the main part and all the countries stopped to take in the beautiful mall. There were all sorts of rides coming up from the bottom floor ahead. There was a bridge with cool pieces of lights on the bottom. And the stores! There were hundreds! Everything from clothing to food! Shoes, shirts, there was even a stores that sold costumes and wigs!

"This place is amazing~!" Italy said, looking around curiously.

"Thanks, dude! Let's go to the amusement park!" America said, racing to the elevator. Italy followed like a little puppy. England panicked and started to go after them, but was stopped by France.

"Relax, mon chier! We're the only ones in here. There is nothing they can do that could possibly mess up the mall!" Oh France, are you really that stupid.

* * *

America lead Italy to the Rock Bottom Plunge. Probably the best ride in the park. It's drop went to the ceiling and went in a vertical drop, straight through a loop-da-loop and through several more bends and twists. They raced through the entrance and dropped into the middle seats. The guy at controls sighed, took America's glasses and started the ride. The way up was so steep it was like they were laying down.

"Dude, this is gonna be awesome! Don't be nervous, okay? It's always scary the first time" America said comfortingly, Italy's shaking stopped and he relaxed a bit. Then they got to the top and shot straight down. Italy screamed and America cheered, pumping his fists in the air. By the end, Italy was laughing and cheering too.

"Ve~That was cool~! Let's go on another!"

They went on literally every ride in the park. From Ghost Blasters, to Avatar, right down to the air balloon ride...that Italy fell asleep on.

"Now what do we do? That's pretty much every ride in the park!" America said, pouting. Italy shrugged and continued eating his Dip-n-Dots. America's head popped up and he smiled his brightest 'hero' smile.

"Dude, I think I just thought of something!"

* * *

All of the other countries were having a wonderful time. They bought souvenirs, cookies, jackets, shoes, T-shirts, dress shirts, stuffed animals, jeans, France bought a skirt for...an unknown reason... They went to almost every food stand in the mall, they even went to some of the fancy restaurants. Poland bought almost every piece of horse merchandise they had. He even bought a bright purple shirt with shiny letters on it saying, "You, Like, Wish You Were Me". England bought a brand new tea set, a suit that looked identical to the one James Bond wore in the movies, a T-shirt that had the English flag printed on it, several new jeans, his name on a mini license plate, recipe books, a new sweater, boxers with unicorns on them, and some new sneakers. France bought several dress shirts, a skirt (like I mentioned earlier), several new pairs of boots and one pair of high heels, got four girls' phone numbers, and got a snow globe with the Eiffel Tower in the middle. Prussia bought several awesome hats, a shirt with the words awesome written all over it, a...cape (don't wanna know), black dress shoes, and even a new, decorative bird cage. Canada had been sort of forgotten by the group of older countries, so went off by himself. He bought a red sweatshirt with a maple leaf on it, a stuffed moose, a hermit crab that he saw at a kiosk, some new white snow boots, a polar bear snow globe, at least ten different T-shirts, a baseball cap, and Toll-House cookies.

Everyone met back on the bridge they came in on. By now it had grown dark outside and everyone was exhausted. Even Prussia's bird sat on his head because it was too tired to fly. Everyone was carrying multiple bags filled with their own personal findings.

"Where are those two? They were supposed to meet us here at least a half hour ago." England said, his eyes drooping slightly. Poland could barely nod his head, so he just made a groaning noise.

"Maybe they got bored of waiting and left to find us. Those two never could last two seconds without entertainment." France said, swirling his snow globe in his hand.

"True but even those two have to run out of energy at some point. They have to get those cheery personalities out of something." England said, unconvinced that he made the right choice of leaving them. He started to imagine them trying to do something stupid and a ride falling on them.  
"I thought they were just dropped on their heads when they were born." Poland sighed, barely awake enough to finish the comment.

"That's just mean." Canada said, sitting down on a bench. His polar bear had fallen asleep in his shopping bag.

"I can feel my awesomeness leaking out of my face." Prussia complained, ignoring the weird looks sent his way.

"Well, we may as well go-" England was interrupted by a giant boom. All of the countries turned a around towards the amusement park.

"You've got to be kidding me."

Red, blue, green, and white were being lit up above the park, sparks falling onto the rides below. Roller coasters and bumper cars were going crazy, flying about the park going at least one hundred miles an hour. The bounce house actually _floating _from all the air it contained. The rope obstacle course was shaking from everything that was happening. Toy boats were zooming through the water like a synchronized swim team. The ferris wheel was spinning so fast it popped off and went into the wall. The Ghost Blasters was shooting off lazer lights off all across the area. The butterflies were set free from the garden and were flying about franticly. The floor had somehow been covered by Dip-N-Dots and ice cream. The swing ride was going so franticly the swings were all sideways from the speed. The American Girl Doll store cakes overflowing the shop from the mini cafe upstairs. The Log Chute had logs going down so fast water was splash up to the ceiling, soaking almost everything in range. The Danny Phantom ride was spinning like there was no tomorrow.

England turned and snidely said to France, "Nothing they can do can mess up the mall, huh?"

Canada nodded and added, "Never underestimated them. It'll bite you in the ass every time. Maple, I still remember the first time I went with America to the little neighborhood park. He managed to make the playground collapse within ten minutes of arriving!"

"This mall is, like, so going to sue us." Poland said, already calling his lawyer. France shook his head and asked, "How did they get fireworks?"

"Even the awesome me, will never know and doesn't really want to find out." Prussia said, watching as the giant park continued to cause havoc. Employees scrabbled on the bottom floor to fix the machines, but whatever _someone_ did made it so the rides stayed like this till morning.

"Well, may as well go find them." England sighed, and lead the tired group to the elevators.

* * *

"Where could they possibly be?" England shouted, they had scavenged the entire park and the two nations were no where to be found. They even checked all the ice cream and candy stores.

"The rain forest cafe could be a good place to rest a while." France suggested. They all headed to the restaurant and as they were about to go in, a woman ran up to them from inside.

"You wouldn't happen to be looking for a really tall guy with glasses and a short guy with a curl would you?" She asked, her grammar and accent showing she was one hundred percent American.

"Why, yes! Do you know where they are, miss?" England asked with glee. No more troubles! Those idiots probably fell asleep somewhere and they can return home!

"Come and take a look." She said, with the kind of amusement showing they had done something stupid. The happy expressions on the countries' faces disappeared instantly. They followed the woman cautiously, wondering what else those idiots kind have possible done.

"Aw, COME ON!"

There inside the fish tanks were America and Italy swimming with scuba masks and flippers.

"How did they get in there?" France asked, seeing as the tank went to the ceiling, curved into an arch, and ended on the other side of the small tunnel they were in going into the ground.

"Honey, I have no idea. Just please...Get them out. They have been chasing the fishes and making weird faces for _hours_." The woman said, and with that she left the nations to figure this out themselves. Let's just say when the owner came into the mall the next morning...It wasn't pretty.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, so this may have been not so good, but this was the best I could come up with, My lameness comes from this gigantic writers block sitting on my brain. Plus all of my finals are coming up. Also, my extensive knowledge of the Mall of America is because I live right by it. We go there pretty often so I pretty much have the place memorized. Plus, I wanted at least something to show that my home state of Minnesota isn't THAT bad. Sure, it has it's flaws but WHAT STATE DOESN'T? And that concludes my mini rant. 3 reviews = Chapter 4**


	4. Pasta in Paris

**A/N: Hey guys! Okay so I won't be updating everyday for a while because my finals are coming up in school and I'm going to be studying my butt off. But, I will be updating regularly and will update everyday during the weekends...when I find time. Thank you to those who have stuck by me and I would like to give a BIG thanks to Qualeshia Marshall, seriously you rock! This story is my most popular so far, the reviews have all been full of awesomeness...seriously you guys broke my computer. On another note, enjoy my next chapter and keep the reviews coming! Reviews = Cookies and New Chapters!**

**Disclaimer: I...I just can't say it...(Goes into emo corner because she doesn't own Hetalia) I DID MY BEST! I did my best...**

* * *

England and France walked side by side to the meeting, arguing like always. The meeting was in Paris that time, in a building right next to the Eiffel Tower. France had picked up England from his house that morning. Well, if consider carrying a man bridal style to your car then waking him up by touching certain 'areas', then yes, France picked up England from his house.

"You wanker! Can't you ever get this through your thick head, I DON'T LIKE YOU!" England screeched, keeping an at least two foot distance between them.

"Oh honhonhon, then if it is not me you fancy. Maybe dear, America is who you take a greater liking to." France said, his eyebrows doing a suggestive waggle.

"I can assure you, sir, he is like a son to me. But, if I had to choose between him or you, I'd pick that moron in a heartbeat."

"Oh, and why is that _mon__ cher_?"

"First of all, don't call me that. I would like to know exactly what you call me so I can report it correctly to the police. And second of all, at least with Alfred I don't have to worry about waking up and finding a pervert, as you call it, 'discovering new land'."

They had finally reached the giant, old oak doors. The knobs were a bit rusted and had a bit of faded gold paint on it. "Your maintenance is also in need of improvement." England sneered, just then a swarm of bugs crawled out of the key hole.

"I think you are just being picky. My staff cleans this building from dawn till dusk."

"Well, they must've stopped in 1962, because it looks like that was the last time this place got cleaned."

France finally found the key to the old dinosaur like room. He turned the knob and was surprised to see the lights were already on. But what surprised the two nations the most, were the two men lying on the table, hands to their sides, feet together, and completely motionless.

"America, Italy...What the bloody hell are you doing?" England asked.

"Ve~We're planking!" Italy's happy, yet slightly muffled, voice replied.

"Dude, we've been doing it all morning! We planked in hotel lobby, the bus, on top of our cars, in the hallway, and now on the desks!" America said, his laughter made his body start to shake.

"But, why would you two wake up so early? Normally you to don't arrive until the meeting is beginning." France said, scooting closer and closer to England.

"We were bored~! Germany was being a meanie and Japan was so neutral about it I couldn't figure out if wanted to or didn't want to. So, I asked fratello and he threw tomatoes at me~! So I went back to my hotel room and watched some movies, then America called me and told me I should go with him to go planking~!"

"I just bored as hell." America said, cheerfully. England and France just stared at them for a moment. These two idiots spent the whole morning, walking around _planking_.

"Well, um, good on you for finding something non-destructive to do. But I have one question."

"Dude, I think this is pretty self explanatory, but go head."

"Um, at what time did you two start this?"

"Ve~America called me at around...six o'clock...I think." Italy said, thoughtfully. England's jaw dropped at this.

"You two have been at this crap for three hours?" England exclaimed, "You two have probably had people call the medics thinking you fainted or something."

"Calm down, dude. That only happened, like, two times. Everyone else either poked us with sticks or took pictures of us." America said, sitting up from his planking position.

"Ve~Some people offered us some money. They were really nice. One man gave me a shiny, new quarter~! See?" Italy held up a brand new 2012 quarter. It looked like it was just made yesterday.

"Dude! You didn't show me that!" America said, leaning in to see the quarter.

England and France both looked at the two friends, then at each other, then they both epically face palmed.

* * *

The meeting was quiet slow today. Well, everyone was once again fighting, but Italy wanted something to do. Other than sit there in the middle of a mini battlefield. He wanted something fun to do, something that would make this boring, business filled day ten times better. Italy slowing slipped out of his chair, tip toed to the door, and slid out of the loud obnoxious room. 'Big brother France has a really big and beautiful country~. I bet if I looked hard enough, I can find something so fun, the others will stop fighting and join me~! They're always so loud and are really big meanies to one another.' Italy thought as he happily hopped into his little red FIAT. 'Oh, well. The meetings wouldn't be half as fun without all the countries there.' And with that, he drove away from the big, gray building. His 'PASTA' license plate shining in the sun.

* * *

"Has anyone seen Italy?" Germany questioned the, for once, quiet meeting hall.

"I saw him earlier, planking with that idiot." England said, gesturing towards America.

"Dude, don't look at me. Last I saw him, he was sitting in his chair in the corner over there," America said, pointing to the chair Italy used to be occupying, "I would've been able to watch him, if _someone_ didn't tackle me for going over the time limit."

"You deserved it! Banning all English food from all U.S. territories... I've never heard anything more idiotic in my life! My food is one of the highest cuisines in the world!" England said, standing over the American.

"Oh, please. My dog food was rated higher than your queen's chef's food." France said, holding up a food magazine.

"Everyone, focus," Germany said, "Italy will probably do something stupid and irrational that will probably destroy Paris. Our job, is to catch that moron before he causes any serious damage. We will split into teams. Me, Japan, and Prussia will be one. America, England, and Russia will b-"

"NO!" America and England shouted.

"Too bad!" Germany shouted back and continued naming the teams. After he was finished, everyone went their different ways. America ran to his jeep with England following closely, meanwhile Russia trailed behind them with a mysterious smile on his face.

* * *

"Sir! You cannot be on that! Get down from there now!" The security guard yelled. At the tippy, tippy, TIPPY top of the Eiffel Tower stood Italy.

"Ve~? But this view is amazing officer guy~! You should try it!" Italy said, holding out his arms, he exclaimed, "I'M THE KING OF THE WORLD~!"

"Oh my god, suicide attempt!" A woman yelled, holding out her camera.

"No ma'am, just a really stupid tourist." The guard said, deflating visibly as Italy began to dance on the smallest, and highest point of the Eiffel Tower.

"He's got amazing balance, I can give him that." Another guard said from behind them, filming Italy as he bounced on top of the small point that kept him from falling.

* * *

"Who's hungry?" America asked, pulling into a French McDonald's.

"You bloody idiot! We are _trying_ to locate your dimwitted friend before he wipes out the whole population of France. Actually...maybe we shouldn't find him." England finished with a smirk.

"No way, dude. He's my buddy." America said pouting at England's unwillingness to help.

"It's not that I don't like him. He is just so bloody irritating at times. But don't worry, I'm still helping you look for him." England said with an encouraging smile.

"Happy moments like these remind me of the little countries who used to make fun of me before I pounded them into paste." Russia said, a dark shadow starting to eclipse his face. America and England shuddered.

After America ate his cheeseburger, they continued to drive around Paris. The first place they stopped was the Eiffel Tower. They walked up to the nearest guard and tapped his shoulder.

"Excuse me," England said, "Have you or anyone else happen to have seen a kind of short Italian man-"

"Short! Dude he's like the same height as you!" America interrupted.

"Anyway, he has brown hair with a curl on the left side of his head." England explained. (The curl looks like it's on the right, but from Italy's POV, it's on the left. Sorry to those who knew that, I was yelled at before by someone.)

"There was a man just like that here a moment ago! He was dancing on the highest point of the tower. He left a minute ago, but if you hurry you might be able to catch him. Last I heard, he going to a really fancy restaurant downtown. If you follow this road, you should be able to find it on your right."

"Thanks, dude! We owe ya!" America said, slapping the guy on the back. The three countries then returned to their car and sped down the road.

* * *

"Ve~How could you not have pasta~?"

"Sir, I did not make the menu."

"But you were involved!"

"Sir, I wasn't even hired until last week."

"You could've recommended it though~!"

"Sir, are you going to order or not?"

"Do you have pasta~?"

"No."

"Then, no."

* * *

"Um, which way dude?" America asked, staring at the road ahead. There was only left and right.

"How am I supposed to know? The guard said to just go straight, but he never mentioned a perfect split in the middle of the road." England said.

"Ah, screw it! I'm driving through the middle!"

"Wait! All that's ahead is a forest! ALFRED!"

America slammed the gas pedal to the floor and the jeep zoomed into the forest, all the while narrowly dodging trees and boulders.

"There's no way we're going to find the restaurant through the forest!" England exclaimed.

"We're heading in the right direction...I can feel Italy's soul getting nearer and nearer..."

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?"

"For one thing, he's a commie."

* * *

Italy had been in the owner's office for an hour now, he taught the man how to properly make pasta and showed him the many dishes that could be made from it. The owner's smile grew wider as Italy told him pasta was very cheap in most places and was even cheaper to be made by hand.

"A lot of pasta dishes can be made with only three ingredients~! PASTA~!"

The owner shook Italy's hand and typed up an entire section of just pasta dishes, every single one being named after Italy.

* * *

"Well, I'll be damned."

Even though the jeep was covered in leaves, twigs, and branches, the four nations found themselves in the parking lot of one of Paris's most famous restaurants. There was a literal red carpet in the front and the entire building was a flawless white color.

"Come on, guys!" America called as he raced to the doors. England followed right behind him, mostly to avoid Russia.

"Have you two lost an Italian?" A disgruntled waiter asked.

"Yea do you know where he is?" England asked.

"Yeah, I do and let me tell you somethi-"

"You know, I used to know a waiter. He wore very fancy clothes and suits, until he crossed me. Now, he lives on the subway. There are bits of him all over the tracks if you want to meet him." Russia said, a dark aura forming around him.

"You guys are alright! N-no charges against y-you! In fact, if you want to eat, it can be on the house!" The waiter stuttered, trying to hide behind a menu.

"Such a kind man you are, da?" Russia said. The waiter lead them inside, all the while whispering, "Please don't kill me, please don't kill me, please don't kill me..."

The countries were lead into the dining room, where Italy and the owner were popping champagne while dancing on the bar.

"Hey guys~!" Italy said, he shot two bottles off at the same time.

"Dude! Awesome! Let me pop one!" America exclaimed, hopping onto the bar.

"Here you go America~!" Italy said, handing him a bottle with the American flag on it. When Alfred popped it, confetti came out shaped like the American flag. Everyone cheered and continued to dance. 'Barbra Streisand' by Duck Sauce blasted through the restaurant.

"Un-fucking believable." The waiter said as all the nations jumped up on the bar and danced. Yes, England and Russia jumped up and danced on the bar, too.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, so Italy was the only one that went on an adventure this time and I sorta just realized that. Sorry, oh well I had fun writing it. Yeah, I couldn't really write much because a lot of crap is happening at my house and yeah. Probably my shortest chapter so far and that's because of writer's block so don't assassinate me. The guys who have been reading since the first chapter and actually FAVORITED this...I LOVE YOU (France moment over) I am planning on updating tomorrow and keep sending in reviews and comments! Just one review so I know you're still reading my crazed thoughts! BlueSmerf out! **


	5. Darling Boys!

**A/N: Hey guys! I know I've been a bit of an ass and haven't updated for a LONG time. For those of you actually still reading this...I love you (France moment over). Awkward...ANYWAY, I've been watching lots of HetaOni recently. I have this weird habit of watching REALLY depressing things when I'm depressed, but that isn't going to help write for this story at all. So I watched all of my favorite movies and had some hot cocoa and now IMMA HAPPY SMERF! Thank you for those who have reviewed, seriously you guys inspire me to keep writing. I'll try to make this chapter really good, but I won't guarantee I will be successful. You guys have no idea how many times I've rewritten this. Every time I try and write it, it turns out super crappy so don't blow up if this is super lame, okay? So without further ado (think that's how it's spelled) ENJOY! **

**Disclaimer: Ve~I don't own this amazing show...but me and my friend are going to buy cosplay costumes when we save enough money! (Guess who I'm gonna be...hint hint: Ve~)**

* * *

Once again, the meeting was in England. Surprisingly, there wasn't a single drop of rain. Although, the sky did keep it's gloomily dark clouds and cold temperatures. An old, rickety cab pulled down the street and to the meeting. You could hear an old, grumpy voice inside the small car, it sounded as if it were punishing children.

"You can not run around London doing that _thing_ to every gentlemen you meet! You even did it to that poor old woman." England scolded getting out of the cab, America and Italy followed close behind.

"Ve~That woman was so big and scary, I couldn't tell it wasn't a man. Why was she wearing a suit anyway?" Italy explained, shuddering as he remembered the booming voice of the woman they angered.

"You two gits did it to the queen! You two are nothing but annoyingly, useless wankers! Bloody hell! Why, of all places, must my beautiful country have to have these two morons?" England ranted, obviously ignoring Italy.

"Dude, that old chick needs to get out more and as for us, if your country weren't so boring we wouldn't have to find ways to entertain ourselves." America said, seemingly not effected by England's cold words.

"In what way is setting fire to the royal garden's pond fun? It's illegal, that's what it is!"

"Are you kidding? Back in the U.S., everyone would high five you and ask how did you do it, then at least ten other people will copy it until the government realizes the danger of the amazing stunt and make it illegal. So until the queen realizes the danger, it's absolutely okay for us to sufficiently enjoy ourselves and if that means setting the royal pond on fire, SET THE POND ON FIRE WE SHALL." America finished, Italy applauded as England just stared.

"Well yes, that is a very good explanation...Except for one minor detail," England said, quite calmly.

"And that would be, what?" America asked, he didn't make any mistakes as far as he was concerned.

"WE'RE NOT IN THE U.S., YOU BLOODY FOOL!" England bellowed, swatting America on the head.

"Oh, yeah..." America mumbled, rubbing his head gently where the Brit whacked him.

"England~?"

"Yes, Italy?"

"Are we late?"

"...Shut up and get inside."

* * *

"Will you three hurry up?" Germany called, "We've been waiting for you for the last twenty minutes."

"My apologies, Germany," England panted from running, "These two morons had decided to do a certain _thing _again..."

"Dude, come on let's go! Don't want to keep them waiting!" America laughed marching into the meeting room along side Italy.

"Stupid bloody...don't even respect a queen...fire to the pond...shaving cream..." England grumbled, internally ranting about what the two have done within the last twenty minutes.

"Now then, let's begin." Germany said once England, America, and Italy found their seats. The meeting started off really formal and productive...which is boring. Poland then announced his new clothing line had gotten more attention then both of France's last clothing lines combined. This made France utterly insulted, making him claim the only reason his line didn't succeed is because the Italian brothers didn't send enough fabric so he needed to substitute.

Upon this, Spain claimed if Russia had sent the Italian the money he owed them they could've afforded new clothes. Romano then whispered, "Stop helping us..." And smiled sheepishly at the mysterious Russian. France also went on about Spain not minding his business when it came to other world matters, although he was not as bad as America. England jumped up saying France owed more money to America than any other nation in the war. He also added how and I quote, "America had to jump in to help us because of you quiting within the first month or so. For all I care, your sorry ass shouldn't have even been in the war in the first place."

After this, France began to blame other countries for his financial struggle and for them not helping him in the war. Everyone quickly chose sides, most going on England's side because France was blaming others for reasons no one understood. France then said he used all of the money he got from Germany and the general public to rebuild his economy and towns. This caused England to say, "We all got money to rebuild from the war, regardless if it was from Germany or not. So, you would've gotten extra, selfish frog."

"At least my friends are real! I was answering to the others not you! Besides, why don't you spend some time with America? It's obvious you want to get a non-stop plane ticket to _Florida_." France said, winking dramatically. America blushed bright red while England stuttered, "Bloody pervert...At least I don't try to molest America every time he visits, unlike what you try to do to Italy!"

Somehow, one moment later the room spiraled into disaster. In the midst of the confusion, America found no one was paying attention the door. Italy must of noticed too, because he was already half way put of the room. America quickly scampered after him, unnoticed by other nations.

"Hey! Hey, dude, wait up!" America called, running after the Italian. Italy turned around and smiled, saying, "Ciao, America!"

"Man, it is crazy down there! England actually cursed someone. CURSED SOMEONE!"

"I know! France tried to take off Canada's shirt! His face looked like a tomato."

"Hahaha! Oh, Mattie, he needs to be more like me! The hero never gets raped! Except last Christmas when I woke up and France was under my Christmas tree..."

"How'd he get under there?"

"...He never told me."

* * *

America and Italy soon called a cab to pick them up, realizing they couldn't find their car under the heavy down pour of rain. Well, so much for England's claim of his country not raining everyday. They drove back to the motel, except this time they stayed in the lobby to plan what they would do next.

"Okay, so we already did the most interesting thing we could possibly do in England...So, now what?" America asked.

"Ve~I think I know something we could do..." Italy said.

The two discussed the plans for a total of two hours, before calling a taxi and driving to the royal palace.

* * *

They got out of the cab to see the sight of the beautiful architect once again that day. The two grinned and approached the beautiful entrance where to guards stood motionless, ready to attack any threat. The guards stiffened when they saw the two and quickly grabbed their guns, loading them.

America stepped forward, puffed out his chest, and said in his hero voice, "He have permission from Arthur Kirkland to visit the queen to apologize for our unnerving behavior."

"_The _Arthur Kirkland?" A guard huffed.

"No, the Arthur Kirkland who lives on the bus and just happens to know the queen, is there any other Arthur Kirkland, dude?" America joked. Italy giggled from behind him.

"Oh, yeah. You two morons set the pond on fire! If Arthur sent you here, then where _is_ he?" The other guard asked, pulling out his gun and aiming.

"First of all, what happened to you guys are never allowed to move? Second of all, Arthur had an important meeting to attend."

"We're allowed to move if someone touches us or if have to protect our queen from idiots like you." The guards growled, "And we shall allow you to see the queen if you do not touch anything and you mustn't leave either of our sights."

"Okay~But what if the queen let's us go off on our own?" Italy asked, raising his hand.

"Ha! Like she would ever let you two go off on your own!" The first guard snorted, leading the group into the magnificent palace.

* * *

"Someone should really guard that damn door," Romano huffed, "And by someone I mean not me."

"Sitting there complaining won't help anyone," England interjected, "What we need to do now is find those idiots before they destroy my country."

"They've already done the only thing interesting in your country," France commented, earning an indecent squawk from England, "Maybe they got bored and went to watch movies at the hotel. Besides it was raining a few moments ago."

"Yes, but it's stopped since then so they still have free range outside." Germany added, prying his brother's bird from his hair.

"I don't get point in finding those two," Russia said, "You always complain about them putting noses into others' business. If they are so annoying, why do you wish they come back?"

England and Germany had no comment.

* * *

"Well, you see, we were just trying to find something to do while Arthur was meeting with you. We understand you were highly offended by the thing we did before the pond was set on fire, but you must understand. Where we're from it is considered a compliment, not a sign of disrespect." America explained. Italy nudged him and asked, "How do you know those big words?"

America grinned and pulled out a pocket sized dictionary. The queen sat up and said in a proper voice, "This is England, we're not so far away from America to know that is definitely NOT a regular custom!"

"Well, if you wanna be technical..." America muttered. Italy popped up and said, "It was started in my country and spread to America~"

"Is this statement true?" The queen asked, the guards stepping forward in suspicion.

"Sure, why not?" America shrugged casually. The queen quirked an eyebrow and stared between the two. Then she broke out into a giant grin and announced, "You two darlings! Butler! Get these two into the finest suits you can find."

"May I ask why your majesty?" A man in a black tux asked. The queen turned around and in all seriousness she said, "Look at those two boys and tell me you don't want to squish them!"

The butler looked at America and Italy, blushed, then replied, "Right away, madam!"

After he ran away and the queen had become occupied, America turned to Italy and asked, "Do you know what just happened?"

Italy looked at him with a smile and said, "We just turned on a guy~!"

"Fuck yeah, we did! SKILLS!"

* * *

"Come on, Canada! We need to keep moving if we're going to rind those two." England called to the almost transparent country.

"But we've been walking for two hours. We haven't found a trace of America or Italy anywhere. Maybe we should just head back." Canada said...whispered...whatever. France shook his head at the now desperate British country. His head was whipping around every direction, walking blindly along the sidewalk.

"Mon cher, it's obvious we're not going to find either of them tonight. We should go back to the hotel and see if they came back in the morning." France sighed, purple rings had already formed around his eyes.

"What is the matter with you two? Those two idiots could be blowing something up, vandalizing street signs, PEEING IN PUBLIC!" England yelled, listing all the things they could be doing.

"I have _no_ idea where they got that from." France cut in, waving his hand in the air indifferently.

"They could be harassing citizens, bothering homeless people, they could be lost or hurt, or hungry..." England trailed off. He turned to see France and Canada sharing a knowing smirk, "What?"

"It's funny how no matter how much you complain about him, America is always your first priority at the end of the day..."Canada muttered looking down.

"I don't understand why you have should a problem showing affection. Why, if America were mine, I would be all over hi-"

"SHUT IT YOU BLOODY FROG!"

* * *

"You two look stunning!" The queen cheered, looking at the two young men in front of her. America and Italy both wore pure white tuxes with red bow ties. They stood awkwardly as the queen babbled on about their adorable expressions.

"Tell me," The queen said, leaning forward on her throne, "Do you two like to _perform_."

"Sure~" Italy said, "When I was younger, Mr. Austria had put me in some plays with other kids, he said I should make more friends~But I quit because they were being dick-ish to me."

"I've been in quite a few action movies myself." America claimed, puffing out his chest.

The queen giggled as they explained some of their most unusual plays they performed in. They even acted out some of the things that happened, causing the queen to squeal with joy.

"Oh, you delightful boys! Would you by any chance like to stay for dinner?"

"Do you have burgers?" America asked.

"And pasta?" Italy added. The two leaned in, waiting expectantly for an answer.

The queen let out a hardy laugh and said, "I'll have my chef prepare whatever your little hearts desire." She patted their heads and left for the kitchen.

"Hey, dude," America said, nudging Italy, "Since she probably won't be back by dinner, wanna do some exploring?"

"Eh? Why-a not?"

* * *

"England, please. The sun went down long ago, it's way too late for this. Maybe we should just wait for the morning to see if they come back." Prussia complained. The trio had since made it back to the meeting place, none of the countries had found the two friends and they were all too drained to go out again and look.

"But...but..." England tried to protest but didn't have a good reason to go out again. Those two were adults, no matter how childish they act and appear. If they did get into a situation, America would probably go into hero mode and woop their ass. England just didn't want to risk it, no matter how long ago the revolution was, England still secretly cared for America like his younger brother.

Germany was in a similar situation. Italy was his only friend and his first ally in the war. Even though Italy was a pain, a cry baby, and a waste of uniform, Germany still appreciated him as a friend. If not for Italy, he would've been sucked into depression, his life nothing but work and strategy to make the other countries fall. When Italy signed that pact after the war to go with the allies, Germany was devastated. His boss ordered him to stay away from the so called 'Italian Traitor'. But, Italy managed to catch him a few years later and patch things up. Now they were once again two of the closest best friends in the world summit. That is...until Italy starting hanging out with America.

"Vell, vhat do we do if they don't return by morning?" Germany asked in a mega serious voice.

"Exactly my point, look...Me and Germany will go and look for them while everyone else...go home and get some sleep." England said, walking out the doors. Germany followed shortly after him. The rest of the countries left silently for home.

* * *

America and Italy were jumping up and down on the guest bed when they were called to the dining hall. It took them about ten minutes to find their way to the stairs and about another twenty to find the dining room. When they arrived, the queen smiled brightly at them as the butlers carried out the food.

"Well, you boys must be famished from waiting so long," The queen chuckled, "But don't worry my dears, this will be far better than any meal you've ever experienced."

As the two friends dug in, they found the meal was actually edible. It wasn't as gourmet as what was served in a regular Italian home, but it wasn't bad. The two smiled and enjoyed what turned out to be a delicious dinner.

Soon, all of the food had been eaten and both of the nations were yawning. The queen was on the brink of taking a picture before ordering a butler to take the two to the guest rooms. America and Italy sluggishly followed the butlers, almost falling asleep on the stairs.

The two went in, stripped down to their boxers, and snuggled into bed. The two beds were king sized and placed right next to each other. America pushed them together, proclaiming he had made 'A Mega Sized HERO Bed' for them. After ten minutes of talking about super heroes and funny meetings they had in different locations, the two closed their eyes and drifted into a deep sleep.

* * *

"Well...there's no where else to look...let's go home..." England muttered, he began to silently walk home when Germany grabbed his shoulder and flung him around. In a gruff voice Germany said, "There's one place I know for sure, we didn't check yet."

"And that would be?" Germany just silently pointed to the giant palace right next to them.

* * *

"Your majesty!" England said, bowing immediately at her feet, "I'm so sorry to bother you at this hour, but do you have any idea where Alfred and Feliciano might be?" They used human names so butlers and maids wouldn't get suspicious.

"Oh, those two darling boys. They had come to me and apologized, they were just so cute that I had to have them for dinner-"

"Mein Gott! You ate them?" Germany bellowed. He knew British food was bad, but COME ON!

"No, I had my chef's prepare their favorite meals. Which they ate. With me. Together. In the dining room." The queen explained slowly. '_Germans_' she thought, '_they always were strange people..._'.

"Well...do you know where they are now?" England asked, gaining hope with every second.

"Why, of course! Follow me Arthur." The queen lead the two worried countries down a series of halls. Finally, they arrived at a white door, the golden doorknob reflecting the smallest bit of light.

The queen slowly opened the door, making sure to make as least noise as possible. England and Germany poked their heads in to see the queen squeaking about how cute the scene was under her breath. The two giant beds were pushed together with no room in between. America was curled around his pillow, like a child with their favorite stuffed bear, while Italy was far under the covers, only his sleeping face poking out.

"Do you suppose we could spend the night as well?" England whispered to the queen.

"The room right next door is fine, yes?"

"Thank you." The queen left to go back to sleep. England also walked away into the room next door, leaving Germany standing there by himself. He stared at the two young nations, more specifically Italy. Germany smiled, even though he couldn't figure Italy out, it made it that much more exciting to have him as a friend.

* * *

**A/N: Awww! Turns out I have a heart after all! Yea, so this is one of my softy chapters. Even though I know this is a bad chapter, I still thank those who continue to stick with me through this story. It's like...one in the morning now so I gonna pass out now. BYE BYE!  
Reviews = Blue Smerf hugs to all...and cookies...and pandas **


	6. Let's Mess With Them

**A/N: Holy REVIEW! All of you get cookies! (On the Opera show) YOU GET A COOKIE! YOU GET A COOKIE! EVERYONE GETS A COOOOKKKIIIIIIEEEEE! Anyway, as you can tell from the last chapter, I will have a few hints of pairings if you would like. I might open up a poll on my profile for which pairings you would like to see, so just keep an eye out for that. This chapter is something I totally pulled out of my butt so don't completely hate it. You guys are full of AWESOMENESS just for reading my story for this long. If you would like any specific characters to be in any chapters, just tell me in a review or PM me at any time. I think it's about time I let you read this, so here is chapter 6 of the Adventures of America and Italy!**

**Disclaimer: THIS IS SPARTA!...Yea even I don't know.**

* * *

"Yo, Italy!"

"Yea, America?"

"Wanna totally mess with England and Germany?"

"Um..."

"Dude, we're not gonna go extreme, we're just gonna mess with them a little is all."

"Oh, okay~. What should we do?"

"Okay, here's the plan..."

* * *

"Where are those morons?" England muttered to Canada. Said country simply shrugged, America had told him that morning he was going to walk to work. Something about all those hamburgers finally catching up to him.

"Italy still hasn't arrived either." Germany said, somehow hearing their whispering from his spot in the room. Which is kind of impossible, cause he's like on the other side of the room.

"Tomato bastard told me that he was going to be picked up by..." Romano trailed off, realizing the fatal mistake Spain had made.

"Going to be picked up by who?" Germany asked, leaning forward. His blue eyes sharp enough to cut a rock in two.

"...America." Romano finally muttered. The room froze as everyone pieced it together. America walked to work...with Italy...neither of them are there...

"We're screwed..."

* * *

"Come on, America~! I know this really cool super market that's on the way." Italy said, giddily pointing to what looked like a bunch of small tents. An old shack-like place here and there, the smell of food wafted in through the windows.

"Sure, dude! We can't stay too long, Jimmy isn't the type to be very patient." America smiled, turning into the small area. They got out of the car and walked to the nearest stand, they were selling gelato.

"It looks like regular ice cream." America said skeptically. He eyed the treat wearily, he was still scarred from the time England gave him homemade ice cream...Made by the Brit himself.

"Ve~it's sorta like ice cream, but way better." Italy jumped up and down as he was handed his own bowl of the delicious treat.

"If you say so..." America sighed and bravely gave the gelato a quick lick. His eyes were squeezed shut, expecting the worst. But they slowly opened as he realized that stuff was-

"FUCKING DELICIOUS!"

* * *

"Why am I not surprised? Oh, I know why. Because if life with America were easy, I wouldn't be having to scale New York city trying to find those two morons." England complained, Germany following him quietly. They had just exited the Empire State Building and were making their way down the busy streets. Men and women wearing business attire shuffled pass them, some pausing to stare at the infuriated Brit. At least ten laughed and giggled at him, but then again, this is America.

"Vell, while America is annoying, at least he can take care of himself. In my opinion, Italy is more of a handful then him." Germany commented, this caused Iggy to stop in his tracks.

"Are you kidding me? Does Italy ever call you at three in the morning, asking you to come over because he needed something from the basement? America may call himself a hero, but if he even sees a movie about Casper the 'friendly ghost' he almost shits himself. And besides, Italy can actually cook quality food." England argued, placing his hands angrily on his hips.

"Does America crawl into your bed in the middle of the night? Does he call you whenever his shoe comes untied? Does he make you say you like him every five seconds so he doesn't burst into tears?" Germany questioned, crossing his arms tightly.

"America dangled me out of an airplane when I needed him to help me escape prison!"

"Italy used the last of our water to boil pasta in the desert!"

"America reads my queen's diary whenever I leave the room!"

"Italy tried to shave off Hitler's mustache because he thought he missed that part of his face!"

"America hit one of the queen's dogs with his car!"

"Italy tries to bring squirrels home from the park!"

"America came to my house on Halloween!"

"How in the hell is that bad?"

"He was dressed AS A BRITISH SOLDIER FROM THE REVOLUTIONARY WAR!"

"ITALY PAINTED BUTTERFLIES ON ALL OF MY TANKS!"

"AMERICA CRASHED MY PIRATE SHIP!"

"ITALY PUTS ACTIVE GRENADES IN HIS MOUTH!"

"OH, YEA? WELL-"

* * *

"Dude, that was probably the most fun I've ever had while shopping." America said. The two friends had left the market with countless fruits and vegetables. They also bought pasta, meat, bread, they even found wooden dolls that were carved looking just like them. They also bought paints and an awesome wooden toy shaped like a frog. Right now they were in America's truck, still about ten minutes away from their mysterious location.

"Ve~I had fun too! I can't believe someone was actually selling ducklings." Italy said dreamily, they had let him hold one of them. He had named it Linguini, this caused America to laugh.

"Those little guys were awesome. Too bad we couldn't get one, the little black one just spelled bad ass." America commented. He turned into an old, abandoned looking parking lot. Italy began to shiver slightly, something about this place didn't seem right.

"America~Are you sure this is the right place?" Italy asked, wearily looking out the windows.

"Yeah. Don't worry, buddy, nothings gonna happen. I am the hero after all." America stated proudly. This made Italy's shaking stop but his worry didn't lessen all that much. Suddenly, a dark shadow appeared at America's window. Tapped lightly on the thick glass, Italy whimpered as the blond pulled down the window.

"Hey, Jimmy! How ya doin' brohaw?" America greeted the large man. Chuckling came from the shadow as light finally showed it's face. He was a short man with black hair and a two o'clock shadow on his face. In his mouth there was an old style cigar, smoke puffing out with each laugh.

"Hey, Alfred. Glad you could make it. Who's that guy? Looks like he's gonna piss himself."

"Hey, play nice. This is my buddy Feliciano!" America announced, wrapping his arm around the smaller nation.

"Nice to meet ya. Alfred talks a lot about you, you should cook some of your world famous pasta for my gang sometime. Anyway, I'm James but you can call me Jimmy." The man grinned, holding out his hand for the Italian to shake. Italy slowly shook his hand, still not completely certain about this guy.

"Don't worry, Feli. Jimmy's pretty much all bark and no bite." America whispered comfortingly.

"Guilty is charged. But, really kid, just stick by me and Alfred here, and everything will be fine. Besides, in all honest, this part of town ain't as bad as some people think." Jimmy said, slowly trudging away. America and Italy got out of the car and followed the pudgy man through the dimly lit parking lot.

"Okay, guys. Welcome to, Livin' La Vida Loca~!" The man said, throwing open the doors. They revealed a club inside. It was completely dark with lights flashing everywhere you looked, you could see silhouettes other party goers as music blasted through the air.

"Follow me boys. I believe you have an appointment with Wilbur." Jimmy winked at them and led the way through the massive crowd. Italy held on to America's hand as they followed him, Italy didn't want to get lost in this sea of people by himself.

Jimmy led them to a small room where he slid a navy blue curtain to the side. Inside the room was a blinding white color, almost like they were in heaven of some kind. A skinny man with a red suit came into view. He stood in front of two black barber chairs.

"This is Wilbur," Jimmy explained, "He'll be taking care of you while I watch the door. He's the best in the business, I guarantee." With that, the short man walked outside.

"It's an absolute _delight _to meet you." Wilbur said, his voice very feminine. America squinted, then asked, "Are you gay?"

"Well, that's very personal but yes. How did _you_ know?"

"Because I'm just that awesome."

* * *

"Amer...ica breaks...all of...my...tea cups." England panted, they had been yelling for hours now, their search had found nothing.

"Italy's...brother...hates my...very...being." Germany huffed, urging his tired legs forward. The Brit chuckled and said, "How about we call it even?"

"Deal." The two walked in silence for the next few minutes. The wind whistled in their cold ears as the silent road stretched on for many miles. The countries slowly started to wobble, they hadn't stopped walking for over three hours.

"We're lost, aren't we?" Germany drawled.

"We're not lost! I just don't know where the hell we are!"

"...At moments like these...I really hate you."

"Be quiet! I hate to tell you this but...we might be lost."

* * *

"Ta-da! The new and improved, punk Alfred and Feli!" Wilbur said majestically. He stepped aside to reveal the new and hardly recognizable countries. America wore a black wig (looking exactly like his original hair but black), fake ear piercings, and his bomber jacket had been replaced with a black leather jacket. He also wore dark skinny jeans and black shoes with neon colors on them.

Feliciano's hair was also a black wig (also looking just like his original hair...but, black), he wore red contacts in his auburn eyes, and his skin looked slightly more tanned. He wore a neon rock t-shirt and a long sleeved white shirt underneath. He also wore black skinny jeans and neon shoes with black. Italy also had a silver necklace on with a cross at the bottom.

Jimmy applauded and gave the two boys a mirror. America was grinning like a wild man while Italy looked at himself in awe.

"Dude, we look bad ass! Holy shit, this awesome!" America cheered to the mirror. Italy gave a small reply of, "I'm look even better than the guys in the mafia."

"Wilbur, you've done it again! They look amazin'!" Jimmy jeered, he quickly thanked Wilbur and tugged the two out to his car. '_Well isn't this ironic_' Italy thought giggling, '_He's a cop. Wow, Germany is going to be so surprised~This is so much fun!_'

"Well, boys. Into the back you go." Jimmy said, opening the door for them. The two countries hopped in and put their hands behind their back, making it looked like they were handcuffed.

"Okay, you know what to say right, Jimmy?" America said, handing the man his cell phone.

"Don't worry, Al. I've got it practically memorized." Jimmy said with a wink. He found the number and listened to the rings. This is gonna be a night to remember.

* * *

England and Germany had managed to find a gas station where they found out where they were and managed to get a taxi ride back to their hotel. The two tired nations stumbled out of the yellow cab and sat down on the steps of the building.

"Well...now what?" England asked, staring into the puddle at his feet. America had never been missing an entire _day_ before and, judging by Germany's worried expression, neither has Italy.

"I don't know." The German huffed. The two sat in silence for the next few moments, that is, until England's phone began to ring.

"Hello?" The Brit said into the phone. On the other end a gruff voice said, "Um, yes. Are you the guardian of Alfred Jones and Feliciano Vargas?"

"Yes! Yes I am! They've been missing all day, are they alright?" At this point, England was yelling in to the phone.

"Just tell me your location and I'll have a squad car deliver them right away."

"A squad car...Why a squad car?"

"It seems they got into a bit of...trouble."

"We're at-"

"Oh, that's alright sir. They just told us where you should be located, we'll be at your hotel momentarily." And with that, the cop hung up. England stayed frozen in his spot for what seemed like hours until Germany finally shook him by the shoulders.

"Vell?" The German yelled.

"They...they're...coming in a squad car."

"Like vhat the police use?"

"No, like the penguins use. WHAT OTHER KIND IS THERE?"

* * *

"That's done and done. Okay boys, ready to give them the shock of a lifetime?"

"Yeah!" The two friends yelled. Jimmy started the engine and started down the road. The road was pitch black because it was abandoned years ago, weeds grew through every crack the car road across.

America turned to Italy to see the smaller country beginning to shake. "What's wrong, dude?"

"What if Germany and England get mad? I share a room with Germany, what if he's so mad he kicks me out?" Italy asked, because, really, where else will he be able to sleep?

"Dude, don't worry. You can always sleep in my room if Germany's still pissed off after a while. Besides, you know them, they huff and puff for a while then they get over it." The American said, a small smile shown on his face.

"Yeah...Thanks America~I'm much-a better now~!" The Italian cheered giving Alfred a big hug.

"Guys, get ready. Hotel's right ahead." With that, America and Italy got into position.

* * *

England and Germany stood when the car drove in front of them. The windows were blacked out so they couldn't even have a clue what could have possible happened to them. The cop got out and walked up to the two nations. The cop didn't wear a uniform but a white shirt with a leather jacket and a white stained shirt with old blue jeans.

"I'm undercover." The cop said, puffing away at his old cigar.

"What happened to them?" Germany asked, stepping toward the car.

"Oh, those two. Better get them out." The cop opened the back to an unspeakable sight. America and Italy were dressed in all black clothing and...and...

"YOU DYED YOUR HAIR?" England screeched at the top of his lungs.

"PIERCINGS? ROCK BANDS? WHAT THE FUCK?" Germany bellowed just as loud.

"Step out of the car please." The cop order. The two slid out of the car with emotionless faces. They wore sour expressions as the cop explained what they were doing.

"Found them outside a club. They were getting into some sorta fight with some gang. DON'T let me catch them again or it's straight to jail." The cop warned. The officer slid into his car and sped off, probably to another fight.

"Why...why would you do this?" England whispered, tears in his eyes as he looked at his former colony.

"Italy...what reason would you have to do this?" Germany asked, a gently hand placed on the smaller countries shoulder.

The two delinquents shared a smirk and said, "Because we were bored. And we're ASSHOLES!" They cried, snatching their wigs off. England and Germany stood in shock as they pulled off their clothes revealing their usual outfits.

"But...b-but..." The two blonds stuttered at the laughing friends.

3...2...1...

"WHAT THE FU-"

* * *

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait, I needed some time to think of a good story. I wanted to have this chapter be mostly stupid humor because my moochy side is on vacation. Thank you for the kind reviews, I read everyone of them and they all mean a lot to me so thank you. I describe you guys as AWESOMENESS!**

**Reviews = MEGA ULTRA DINOSAUR CYBER COOKIES!**


	7. Russian Camping Trip

**A/N: Hey guys! I know last chapter wasn't the _best_ but that was just because I didn't have any ideas and it had been a little over a week since I've last updated. So this chapter may have some moochy moments because...just because. Thank you to everyone who has updated and hope my story will get better in time. Your awesomeness actually made my internet go offline! (Not kidding I actually spent twenty minutes getting the internet back up...XD) _Anyway, _I have been thinking about getting a move on with my other stories that I'm planning on writing. I finally got that poll working on my profile so just vote on which pairing you would like in this story, if it is another couple not listed just select Other and PM me so I can add in who ever you'd like. Just remember this is a comic story and it will have limited serious moments and-**

**GERMANY STOP TYPING ON MY COMPUTER! Sorry bought that, he has a thing for rules...Thank you to those who still review, I'll try to keep updating a regularly as I can. Trust me, this fanfic is gonna be _LONG_. Enjoy the chapter! (P.S. Sorry for the crappiness of last chapter. I just ran out of ideas and wanted to get a chapter in before I went to my dad's.)**

**Disclaimer:...I'm hungry**

* * *

"Meeting adjourned." Germany announced, gathering his papers. This meeting was the same as the last, totally chaotic. Canada actually got a turn this time but Cuba interrupted him by claiming he owed him twenty bucks for all the ice cream he had been ordering. Somehow, everyone in the room were in a similar situation with someone else.

"Hey, guys!" America yelled to the retreating nations. Amazing, ten stopped to hear what he had to say. Germany only stopped because Italy had been talking to the American all day and was now jumping excitedly behind him.

"Ve~We wanted to know you guys-a wanted to come with us to go camping~!" Italy cheered. He already had on a fishing hook, with old used hooks decorating the end.

"Why on Earth would we want to do that?" England asked, crossing his arms tightly.

"_Because_ I already have a super awesome spot by Mount Rushmore! I've gone there several times with Canada." America explained, holding up a tour guide.

"So, why not just take Canada?" England asked.

"Oh, he said he was doing something with France. Something about discovering new land." At this, England's face paled, "Anyway, you guys wanna come or what?"

"I would like to come, da?" Russia said, appearing behind Italy. The Italian shrugged this off and asked, "Do you wanna come, Germany?"

"Nein."

"But-"

"Nein."

"Please-"

"Nein, Italia."

"_Germany~_"

"...Fine." Germany sighed, dramatically face palming. England huffed and muttered, "Push over."

"Okay, just me, Italy, Russia, and Germany I guess." America shrugged. As the four started to leave Japan, who was still standing at the door way, asked, "May I come? I would like to take pictures of Mount Rushmore."

"Sure, dude! Knock yourself out," America said, patting the smaller nation on the back, "Okay, any more last calls before we go?"

England stood there contemplating for a moment. Should he go or stay? Go, stay, go, stay, go, stay...

"Perhaps...I'll come with you."

…..Let's just pretend that was a good decision. _For now_.

* * *

They took Russia's car because America drove his truck to the meeting today and it only had to seats. Russia drove a big, gray hummer that had license plates that said,'MOTHERRUSSIA'. Yea, they were big license plates. England, Germany, and Japan sat in the back row of seats while America and Italy road around in the very back. There were no seats back there so they kinda just rolled around laughing back there.

"You know, I've always wanted to try camping." Russia commented. England quirked an eyebrow and asked, "Why? There's plenty of wilderness in Russia. Why not just camp there?"

"Snow is on the ground year round in country," Russia said, a creepy shadow going over his face, "If you were to try and camp, you would be frozen to death by nightfall." Everyone went silent at this.

"Well, this is uncomfortable." America commented.

"Yea...kinda awkward." Italy added quietly. England swatted their heads back down, the last thing he needed was to get Russia angry from their lack of ability to read the atmosphere.

"Hey, Russia...You do know how to get to Mount Rushmore, right?" America asked. He never remembered giving him directions.

"No, we're going to another place." Russia smiled in the rear view mirror.

"Says who?" America yelled. '_That is so uncool man,_' he thought to himself, '_I don't go over to his country and tell him to...to...to do something!_'

"I know better place. Besides, Mount Rushmore always packed. You need to get out more." Russia commented calmly.

The rest of the drive was silent...Except for America and Italy watching YouTube videos on an iphone.

* * *

"We're here." Russia said, turning off the car.

"Here is...where exactly?" England asked, looking around. They were in the middle of a dark, gloomy forest, no civilization for miles. The only sounds were the rustles of tree leaves and the occasional bird.

"I don't know."

"Surely you have a map of some kind." Japan suggested, hopping out of the car. Germany opened up the back for America and Italy to jump out.

"I did, but I used it to kindle the fire." Russia said, pointing to the huge fire next to him.

"Vhen the hell did you start that?" Germany yelled out of surprise.

"About two seconds ago." Russia smiled creepily.

England sighed and said, "Well, we better set up camp. It's already getting dark out anyways." Germany pulled out the tent from the back and started to set it up as Italy sat next to him and watched. America fished around in the back of the hummer and found some marshmallows. There weren't any graham crackers or chocolate, much to his disappointment.

Italy started to unpack his bag as well. There was A LOT of pasta, almost every kind you could think. He even had Spongebob shaped macaroni. He also pulled out six white flags, one for everyone. Japan began searching for firewood, he used his sword to slice down dead branches.

"Okay, champs, I don't know about anyone else but I think it would be a good idea to start dinner." England announced. The real reason he wanted to start dinner is because he had nothing to do.

"PASTA~!"

"VODKA~!"

"RICEBALLS~!"

"WURST~!"

"FISH AND CHIPS~!"

"EW~!"

* * *

The fire slowly died out as the countries headed into the tent. The dinner was magnificent, it was like being at a world buffet, everyone made their favorite food. America quickly got the marshmallows from his bag before he slipped into the tent. Night quickly fell over the forest, stars twinkled across deep, navy sky.

"Okay, dudes!" America yelled as he crawled in next to Japan, "Who wants to play truth or dare?" Almost as if nature answered him, thunder rumbled behind him and rain began to pour from the sky.

"Okay...How 'bout just truth?" America asked.

"Fine. But if this turns into an hour long confession moment then I'm sleeping in the hummer." England said, tiredly. Dark circles already formed around his eyes and his head unsteadily balancing on his hand.

"Okay, okay. So...who wants to go first?" At everyone's silence America said, "Okay, I'll go first. Hm... Japan!"

"Yes, America-san?" Japan asked.

"Have you...hm..." America's mouth twisted into a devious smile as he asked, "Are you a virgin?"

"W-What?" Japan stuttered, his face going scarlet. His brown eyes almost popping out of his head.

"You heard me."

"That's completely inappropriate and indecent! We cannot talk about our sexual lives! We shouldn't even talk about being shirtless or naked! We should at all times be-"

"Then how come so many of your cartoons have sex?" Italy asked, innocently. Japan froze, blinked, then-

"WHY DO YOU SUGGEST JUST AN INDECENT ACT OF MY PEOPLE? EVEN IF WE DID WHY WE TALK ABOUT THIS INDECENCY OUTSIDE THE-"

"Okay, before Japan bursts a vessel, let's go on to the next question." England intervened.

"Aw, come on, dude. That was hilarious!" America laughed, tears almost coming out of his eyes.

"I would like to go now," Russia said, raising his hand. Not hearing anyone object, he continued, "Italy?"

"Yea~?"

"You will become one with me, da?"

"Um...no thank you." Italy squeaked. He quickly hid himself behind Germany, shaking slightly from Russia darkening smile.

"I suppose I'll go now," Germany sighed, "Italy?"

"Ve~?"

"How long had you been hiding in that tomato crate when I found you?"

"Oh...um...I think I was in there for...hm...I think...maybe...four hours? Four or five?" Italy guessed. He remembered being there a _long _time.

"Didn't you get bored?" America asked.

"No~I carved pictures into the box and I found a pack of cards in my back pocket that I played with for a while~" Italy explained, as if it was as common as waiting for the bus and taking the wrong turn trying to get to a new job.

"Vell...Okay then." Germany muttered, still slightly confused.

"Very well then. America?" England asked.

"Yea, dude?" America replied, mouth stuffed full of marshmallows. Beside him, Italy was also current packing his cheeks with the puffy treat.

"Why do you always somehow drag me along when you and Italy want to do something _stupid_?"

"We don't make you come, you just decide to follow us." America answered.

"Can we please play another game?" Japan asked. This wasn't very fun for anyone in his opinion. America pouted then muttered, "Fine..."

They all sat for a moment in thought, rain slapped the tent mercilessly as thunder roared in the clouds. Then England's head popped up and he asked, "Does anyone want to play Quiddler?"

"What's Quiddler?" Italy squeaked.

"It's a card game where you get these cards that have letters on them and you to make words. And-" After England explained the game, the nations played for a good hour or so before they slowly drifted to sleep.

* * *

England blinked sleepily, his vision blurry from the light. He immediately saw Japan and Russia sleeping in front of him and he could hear Germany's snoring from behind him. He slowly sat up, rubbing the sleep away from his emerald eyes.

"America? Italy?" He softly called. His head spun around trying to locate the hyper nations but they were no where to be seen. England slowly crawled to the flap of the tent and poked his head out. What he saw certainly surprised him.

Italy was sitting in front of a fire, on top of the flames was a flat stone where the Italian seemed to be cooking omelets. America was sitting at the side, telling one of his many hero stories as he carved what looked like forks and knives with his pocket knife out of sticks. England smiled fondly at them and crawled out fully. America was the first to notice him.

"Hey, Iggy! We were just getting a head start on breakfast."

"Where did you get those eggs?" England chuckled. Italy looked up and childishly pointed to a nest mounted in the nearest tree.

"Did you climb that?"

"Yep! It was a little scary coming down though...I knew the birdie wouldn't mind if I borrowed a couple eggs." Italy smiled cutely. Right at that moment Russia, Japan, and Germany crawled out of the tent.

"Hey, dudes!" America greeted them. Japan smiled while Germany and Russia didn't respond. America quirked an eyebrow and asked, "What's with them?"

"Russia woke Germany up because he thought Germany took his scarf when it was on his pillow." Japan explained. Germany huffed as Russia began to mutter, "Kolkolkolkolkolkolkolkol..."

"Breakfast is ready~!" Italy cheered. He gave everyone an individual flat stone with an omelet on top. They all ate in silence, well what would have been silence if America hadn't started telling the story of how he found a cat in a tree and used epicness to save it.

"Should we start heading back now?" England asked. There wasn't really anything left to do in this forest, there were so many trees that the whole area was pretty much just shadows.

"Oh...I may have forgotten important fact..." Russia smiled.

"And that would be?"

"Hummer ran out of gas when we arrived in dark forest."

* * *

**A/N: I don't know why it took me so long to write this but I'm just happy it's over. Once again, thank you to all of the reviewers out there and thank you to those who favorite this story. See ya next chapter!**

**Review = I give everyone virtual hugs!**


	8. Somehow, They're in Ireland

**A/N: Ok, if I were you guys, I would've givin' up on this story by now. Main reason I haven't updated in a while: I got two dogs! They're two little chihuahuas and they're names are Penny and Sheldon. I've been busy with that and...let's face, life is a douche at time. Anyway, thank you to everyone still reading and the reviews are AMAZING. You guys are AWEOMSENESS covered in AWESOME sauce spilled over the AWESOME Prussia''s head!...Yeah...Pretend that made sense. I've been thinking about writing a story about the 2p! Characters because they're just that awesome. I see them as being a tiny bit blood thirsty but not cannibals because come on...that's pretty fucking gross. Anyway thank you to all of those still bothering to read this, I promise that I won't have you guys wait that long again.**

**Disclaimer: (Germany walks into room)**

"**BlueSmerf does NOT own me or Hetalia or 2p! Hetalia. She will never be that awesome."**

**Me: (Tearing up) I DID MY BEST! WAH! I DID MY BEST!**

…**...**

**Italy: Pasta~!**

* * *

"Hey...Iggy...Hey, Iggy...Eyebrows...Dude...Dude..._**DDDDDDDUUUUUUUDDDDDDEEEEEE!**_" England jolted up from the sudden screech and was sent spinning in his chair screaming, "What happened? Who died? HOW THE FUCK DID PURPLE GETS IT'S NAME?!"

"Dude! You fell asleep, brohaw. But no worries, I brought ya with me and Italy since I figured you would come with us anyway. I'm psychic like that." America explained. But he froze and asked, "What's with you and the color purple?"

"He's been mumbling about that color since the last night's party, remember?" Japan said as politely as possible. Though, you could still hear a hint of amusement in his otherwise neutral voice.

Romano snorted and said, "That bastard was hammered."

"Excuse you, but I wasn't drunk! I was simply tired and hunger and was feeling very light headed-"

"Yeah, right!" America interrupted the Brit loudly, "You were so drunk you hopped up on the bar and started brag about how you're really an angel and could grant wishes!"

"Ve~ I remember that...Then when a girl asked you to grant a wish for her you took off your shirt and started to sing 'I'm Sexy and I Know It'." Italy giggled. England blushed as the three all started laugh at the memory, even Japan let out a few chuckles.

"Well...I-I...S-Shut up you b-bloody...um..." England couldn't come up with anything to say as he continued to stutter and blush.

"Will you be completing any of these sentences today?" Romano teased from his seat next to his brother. England and Japan were seated in the back, Romano and Italy in the middle row, and America driving. In the passenger seat was a larger, bulky object covered by a large, blue blanket.

"What's in the seat next to you, America-san?" Japan asked, politely of course.

"Tony asked me to deliver this to him. For some weird reason he wanted me to meet him in South Carolina. He said that if I did this for him, he'd pay for all of my hamburgers for an entire week!" America cheered, going even faster than before. They were already ten miles above the speed limit.

"That bastard must be really desperate if he's offering to pay for you, fat ass." Romano muttered. Italy pouted and swatted Romano's arm while saying, "I told you, you can't come with if your going to be a meanie."

"Why did you come anyway? Last time I checked, you hated all of us." England huffed, not wanting to deal with even more stress. He was already hungover and tired as it is.

"Fratello doesn't hate me! Right, Lovino?" Italy said, turning to Romano. You could tell he was hoping his brother would saying yes, Italy always called Romano by his human name. To nations, that meant you were close or at least friends.

"I-I...I don't hate you Feli..." Romano muttered, blushing. His brother cheered and wrapped Romano in a big bear hug. Romano looked at England and mouthed, 'Not a word'.

"Okay...One question." America said. His eyebrows where scrunched together in confusion, his eyes were flicking back and forth between the two roads in front of them. They were currently stopped in front of a fork.

"Yes, America-san?" Japan said, causing them to jump. '_Almost forgot he was there...Hehe..._'

"Um...Who knows the rest of the way to South Carolina?"

"Well, where are we?" England asked. He had visited America many times, he was the one who raised him for cryin' out loud! But none of this looked fimiliar.

"Ireland."

"How'd we end up in Ireland?!" All but America and Italy yelled. America turned around and waved his arms above his head, saying, "I'm not good under pressure and the light wouldn't change so I thought I could go around but I couldn't find my way back to the main road, so I thought if I kept driving I would recognize something and now we're in Ireland!"

"That's not bloody possible! We started off in Korea!" England yelled. His face was starting to redden with anger.

"I blame Russia!"

"And what bloody reason do you have to blame him?!"

"He's. A. COMMIE!"

* * *

"Okay, next time we pass a building, you're going to get your fat ass out of this car and ask for directions." England ordered America. But of course he had said this to break the silence. The last building they past was about ten miles away and it was an abandoned factory. Romano and Italy were currently taking a siesta together and America was busy trying to find out where they were. Japan was almost always silent so England wasn't able to strike up a conversation with him that lasted more than two seconds.

"Dude, you and I both know there isn't going to be another building with PEOPLE inside for another hundred or so miles." America said back. England huffed and looked out the window boredly, he was almost surprised with himself describing a time with Italy and America as boring.

"Can we get out of the car for a while?" America asked, "If I stay in any longer, my butt will melt on to the seat."

"Sure...And thanks for that flattering mental image." England said sarcastically. America pulled the car over slightly, then burst out of the door. He started to dance to get feeling back in his legs as he rubbed his sore butt.

"Will you stop your jittering and help me find out where we are?" England asked/demanded America. The superpower slowly stopped dancing but continued to rubbed his butt slowly.

"But _dude_," America whined, "I've been sitting on my cell phone for the past two hundred miles. I feel like someone punched my left butt cheek in."

"TMI, you burger scarfing bastard." Romano yawned, slowly stepping out of the van. Italy bounced out behind him and said, "Are we there yet?"

"Do we look like we're there yet?" England snapped. Italy glanced around and said, "I'm not sure, I've never visited here before, ve...I think we may have gotten lost..."

"Oh, and how did you figure that one out, Einstein?"

"Ve~I just don't think we're in America yet...We haven't seen a fast food place yet and there aren't any flags around." (**A/N: All you Americans out there...don't even try to deny it. I'm American and even I know if you don't pass a burger joint at least every twenty minutes you're either lost or not in America any more.**)

England rolled his eyes and continued to look around for any sort of sign or building. Even a homeless weirdo would do.

"No worries dudes!" America said, getting into his hero pose, "As the awesome hero I am, I happen to have a GPS built into my awesome smart phone!" He whipped out a phone that had the print of the American flag on the back.

"America, if you don't mind me asking, do you even get reception way out here?" Japan asked, looking somewhat skeptically at his phone. America paused and looked down awkwardly at the phone, the background picture of his head pasted on Superman's body glowed up at him. He looked at the corner of his screen to see-

"How the hell do I only have HALF a bar?!" America bellowed, his eyes popping out unbelievably. England rolled his eyes and snatched the phone saying, "That's not possible, you stup-...Well, shit."

"Now what the hell are we gonna do?" Romano groaned. Italy let out a giggle and said, "Silly. All we need to do is ask for directions~!"

"Who are you going to ask, the grass? There's no one here!" England huffed. Italy shook his head and said, "Well, lets look for someone. It's Ireland, silly, we're not the only five in here. Okay, let's see."

Italy skipped over to a near by boulder and jumped onto the top, putting his hand on his eyes to block the sun, he began to look for help. Italy gave the others updates as he looked in each direction.

"Nope, no one there. Nope. Okay, no one within that area. No...nope...can really see behind that tre-"

"Will you know it off! NO ONE'S HERE! NONE! NOOOOO ONE! GET IT?" England screamed in Italy's face. He took him by the shoulders, pulled him off the rock, and was now shaking him. As the shaking slowed down, Italy looked to the side, grinned, and said, "There's someone~"

A few yards away was a very tall figure. They couldn't tell if it was a man or a woman for they were wearing a black hoodie, that was obviously too big for them, and very torn up jeans. Their black shoes were glistening red with an unknown substance.

"I'm not so sure about that guy," America muttered, "He's giving me the creeps."

"Hai, I agree. There is something not right about that man..." Japan trailed off as kept looking at the man. Italy frowned and said, "What's with you guys and asking for directions?"

"Look, Italy," England sighed, "We're already stuck in a rock and a hard place-"

"What the hell does that mean?"

"It means...We're already in a big enough mess and we don't need to make it worse by asking some creepy hobbit for directions."

"What the fuck is a hobbit?" America interrupted once again. England glared at him and started to mutter a curse under his breath.

"Well, fine. You stay here and be meanies, and I'll go say hi, ve," Italy said decisively. As he began to skip towards the man, Romano tackled him onto the ground. He then bopped Italy on the nose lightly and said, "No."

"Ve~You're all meanies~!" Italy whined standing up. Romano opened his mouth to make a retort, but instantly shut it when he saw a the dark man right. Behind. Him. Like, literally, Italy could feel his breath on his neck.

"You folks lost?" A deep voice rumbled. Italy jumped and looked behind him. He smiled nervously and said, "Um, si. We are. Um...would you happen to know where the nearest town might be?"

"Hm..." The man said in thought, "There is a little town a few miles that way," He pointed behind him, "But if you want to find a place that has a restaurant or an airport, or somethin', the townsfolk should give you a map showing where to go."

"Grazie~!" Italy cheered. He went to tackle him in a hug but instead went flying through air and into the grass. He looked up to see that the man vanished.

"C-come on, idiota. We have to tell the others." Romano said, shakily. He pulled Italy to his feet and quickly walked back to the car.

"So...How'd it go?" America asked. Italy told them about the town and the map. He also pointed to the direction the man told him to go.

"Awesomeness!" America yelled, "See? This wasn't as shitty as you thought it would be, was it, Iggy?"

"Whatever, moron. The faster we get to that airport, the faster I can get the hell away from you." The Brit huffed.

"Be that way!" America retorted, "Haters can suck it! Come on, guys! Let's leave this _hater_ to figure his own way home!" As the blond began to stomp to the driver's seat, England sighed and yelled out, "Fine! I'm sorry, alright? Let's just go..."

"Not until you say I'm the hero and that you were being mean _and_ you were being a hater but, I was heroic enough to save you from sucking it." America demanded with a smile on his face.

England's face turned red from anger as he muttered out, "You are the bloody hero and I was being mean...And I was a hater but you were heroic enough to save me from..."

"What was that?" America teased.

"Save me from..."

"Yes?"

"F-from...sucking it." England sighed in defeat. '_I'm going to bloody murder him later..._'

"Alright, dudes!" America perked up, "Since England has apologized to almost my standards, the hero shall now save you all from this mess!"

"You're the one who made this mess and made it worse, you stupid bastard!" Romano growled, hopping in the back of the car, "Veneziano did all the work!"

"Hai, I shall prepare pasta when we arrive home. It is not everyday Italy actually saves someone."

"Aw~Now that's just mean~!"

"JUST GET IN THE BLOODY CAR!"

"You cut me...You cut me real deep just then..."

"Sali in macchina, cazzo!"

* * *

"Ok, so here's the town..." America mumbled. There were rows of buildings on either side, both sides were in shambles. All windows were broken and every sign was faded so badly you couldn't even tell what it was selling or advertising.

"Well...Let's try and find someone to help, then." Japan said. The car slowly pulled over and the engine went silent. Cautiously, one by one, the nations crawled out of the car. They looked around and went to the most...stable building they could find. England carefully pushed open the door and softly called, "Hello? Is anyone here?"

"YO! DUDES! WE NEED SOME HELP OVER HERE BROHAWS!"

"Bloody hell, America! Do want to give them heart attacks?!" England yelled, smacking him on the back of the head. America rubbed his head and said, "How can anyone hear you if you're talking so quietly?"

"It's not exactly like there's a lot of noise outside. You probably blew their ears out, bastardo." Romano deadpanned. Italy began to trudge away from the group as the insults and complains got louder and nastier. He trotted to another store about three doors down and softly knocked.

"Ciao~? Anyone home? Me and my friends are little lost...Is there anyone in here that can help?" Italy called. He was answered by the floor creaking and an old man hobbling into view.

"Why, hello there little fella." The man said in a shaky voice, "Won't you come in?"

* * *

"Great! Now we lost Feli! What do we do now, idiotas?!" Romano yelled. America popped up in his hero stance, the American flag waved proudly behind him as he said, "No worries, citizen!"

"...citizen?"

"I shall, as the hero, find Italy and return him safefully to you! HA HA HA HA!"

"You have no idea where he is do you?"

"...The hero does not approve of your pessimissem!"

"Doubting that that's a word, let's just find Italy."

* * *

"Wow! So you know America's friend Tony?" Italy asked, taking a small sip of his hot cocoa. The man let out a laugh and said, "Why yes! He visits me almost every night."

"Fantastico! He is actually the person we're trying to find! America said he needed to bring something to him and if he did, Tony would buy America hamburgers~!"

"Well, then," The man said, "We should not keep him waiting, should we?" Italy opened his mouth to answer but he was interrupted by the man saying in a dark voice, "Though...if he's going to kill us all why hurry to get there? Are burgers really that important to your friend that he wants the entire human race to die?"

"...Ve...Is the burger made by McDonald's or Burger King?"

* * *

"Okay...We've searched the whole town and haven't find even the slightest trace of Italy...Now what?" England asked.

"Now we...um..." America was stopped by a sudden crash from the house behind them, followed by a fimiliar voice saying, "Throwing things is mean, ve!"

"In there!" The four nations trampeded through the door just in time to see a very old man throwing vases and books, and whatever he could get his hands on at Italy.

"Dude! Knock it off! We just want some directions to the nearest airport!" America yelled at the man. The man paused and looked at the men who just crashed into his house.

He smiled darkly and growled, "This'll be fun..."

To be continued...

**A/N: I hate myself for doing this to you guys, but it's two in the morning right now and I'm exhausted. I'm gonna post this tomorrow, so yeah. I'm so tired...**

**Please review if you don't hate me completely...**


	9. Somehow, They're in Ireland, Part 2

"Ve~ You're one creepy old man...But you said you would help us, so why are you throwing things and being...creepy?" Italy asked the elderly man.

"Italy! Stop being a moron and help us!" England growled, hiding himself and the others behind the couch.

"Oh my god, dude remember the time we played that video game and there was a situation just like this!" America said to Italy excitedly as the small nation crawled behind the couch beside him.

"Ve~I remember that! We were bad ass!"

"Shut it, bastards!" Romano interrupted, "If we don't figure out how to beat the shit out of the nutcase and get the fuck out of Ireland, then you two can never play video games, hang out together, or annoy anyone. Ever. Again!"

Italy and America at each other, then Romano, then each other again before yelling out, "BUT THAT WOULD SSSSSSUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK KK!"

"Found you~!" The old man maniacally cooed to them. He hopped over the couch and glared down at the five horrified nations. They were all in a huddle hugging each other, mumbling apologies.

"D-dude, come on...We can work this out! One white guy to another..." America stuttered. Italy looked at him said, "That's racist."

"Shut up, Veneziano!" Romano growled with a nervous tone. The man chuckled at their foolishness and began to walk towards them with slow menacing steps until he was right above them. He kneeled in front of England and asked, "Do you see them too?"

"U-um...Excuse me?"

"The...fairies."

"JESUS CHRIST! YOU TOO? WHAT THE FUCK!"America started to rant. Italy giggled and said, "You two can be the two weirdest friends that anyone could have~"

"Italy, no matter how true that is, I do not think that they will be able to be best friends." Japan said. Romano looked at him and said, "I totally forgot you were here." (**A/N: I did too...**)

"See I told you I wasn't crazy!" England yelled pointing at America. He snorted and replied, "That guy doesn't really set the bar very high."

"Ve~I wish we had some pasta..."

"I want a tomato..."

"I should really be testing the new video games we're putting out on the market..."

"I should be bothering you to give me those..."

"You should all...SHUT UP!"

The man giggled and said, "As entertaining as you morons whining is...I cannot allow you to destroy all of humanity by giving that alien the final piece..."

"But, dude, I'm just giving him a-"

"Not another word! You've already betrayed the human races, your lies mean nothing to us...No matter if you struggle or call mother ship, you shall all parish when the time comes."

"Dude, calm your tits," America said, "All we're doing is giving my pal, Tony, his-" But he was once again interrupted by the man pulling out a gun and firing a shot into the ceiling. He then pointed the gun at the countries and growled, "Any last words?"

They all gave him unamused faces as Romano said, "Look up, dipshit." The man peered up at the ceiling to see large cracks start to form above him and a low rumble noise. He looked back at the nations to see that they had bolted out the door.

England looked back and watched as the house collapsed, making dust and dirt filled the air above. The British man sighed and walked back to the car where the other countries were already inside and just about ready to leave.

"Ok, dudes. With that little pit stop, let's continue on our way!" America announced starting the car and began to drive. Within moments they were once again surrounded by nothing but open field. Italy sighed and said, "I hope we find the city soon. My tummy is growling..."

Japan looked at the Italian and said, "Have some sushi in my pack if you would like to have some."

"Ve~ Really?"

"Hai." Japan smiled and pulled out a small wooden box with some chop sticks. Italy opened the box to reveal six pieces of sushi neatly in a line with a little side bowl of soy sauce. Italy threw his arms around the smaller man and yelled, "Ve~! Grazie, Japan!"

"I-italy...Please get off!"

"Okay~!"

"Does anywhere know where the hell we are?" England huffed, glaring daggers at America. Everyone in the car shrugged and continued to look out the windows, except Italy who continued to eat his sushi.

"Well...I'm positive we're still in Ireland..." America drawled, concentrating on coming up with a plan. England rolled his eyes and asked, "Why on Earth did you drag me out here again?"

"Your face turns a funny color when your mad." Italy said through the three pieces of sushi in his mouth. Romano rolled his eyes and muttered something about damn Asian food.

England raised his eyebrows and said, "You're not exactly a ray of sunshine when you don't get pasta. Especially you Romano."

Romano snorted and replied, "That's a completely different situation."

"Sure it is, wanker."

"Oi! No calling me a wanker, eyebrow bastard!"

* * *

"Day one, hour six. All has been quiet, a slight breeze coming in from the left. We have yet to find civilization. The situation looks bleak, gentlemen. Who knows how long we have until we have to pick which one we eat fir-"

"America, I swear to god, if you don't shut up right now I'll take away all your Coke products and replace them with British soda." England growled. America took on a look of pour horror and became silent. Italy had long since fallen asleep with Romano while Japan continued to look out the window at the stars. It was about eleven o'clock at night and they had been driving nonstop, except for that one point where America had to get out and pee.

Japan sighed and asked, "Does anyone have any reception yet?" England pulled out his phone, his expression instantly brightening and he announced, "I have three bars. That's probably enough to call for someone to come find us!"

America cheered and said, "Dude, hand me the phone! I know exactly who to call!" He quickly dialed the number waited for the person to pick up. America then smiled and hollered into the phone, "Hey, bro! What's up! Listen, we got a little lost in Ireland, but I still have the thing you want...Uh-huh...Uh-huh...Okay, cool! See ya!" America turned back to the rest of the group, shutting off the car as he said, "He's on his way!"

All of the American's yelling woke up the Italians and caused Romano to growl, "He better fucking get here soon, I'm exhausted."

"Ve~And Germany's probably wondering where I am..." Italy yawned while rubbing his eye.

"No worries, dude. He said he'll be here in a minute."

Just as America said this, a giant glow of light irrupted in the sky.

"WHAT THE BLOODY HELL IS THAT?!" England screamed. Italy giggled and said, "Yay! Tony's here!"

A silver spaceship landed softly on the grass, a bridge came out from under it. A section of the ship opened and revealed a small gray alien with red beady eyes.

"Fucking bitch." It said, waving at the nations. America and Italy waved back before running to the ship.

"Dude, ya got here just in time. I might still be able to make the Avengers movie at midnight!" America hollered, pumping his fist in the air.

"Ve~Can I come watch too?" Italy asked.

"Sure, why not?"

"Wait just one god damn minute!" Romano ranted, "You're expecting me to get into a spaceship with that thing?! He's probably going to kill us!"

"I agree! In way in hell am I going into that thing...Especially with those two!" England objected. Tony glared him and growled, "Limey bastard..."

"Fine! You can find your own way home. Japan doesn't have a probably going with us, right Japan?" America asked the small man. He nodded and said, "No offense, but I really just want to go home now."

"No worries, Japan. We can all go home together, ve~!"

"Dude, I thought you wanted to go over my house..." America pouted. Italy smiled and said, "Ve~I still am, silly. I meant everyone else."

The three followed the alien into the ship. As the door was about to close-

"WAIT!"

The door opened back up and America looked out yelling, "Yeah?"

"W-we'll...We want to come too..."

"YAY!" America and Italy cheered

* * *

**A/N:...yeah...This was kinda short...and sucky...But hey, wanted to end this story soon so I could work on a new one. I didn't really want this to drag on for a while, so I decided to...not have it drag on for a while. Also, if you guys wouldn't mind, please if you review, I would like to know if you guys would be interested in me making a chapter with 2p! Hetalia characters in it. Or any type of talia you like. Anyway, Hasta La Pasta!**

**Review=Smerfy Happiness...and COOKIES**

**Lots and Lots of COOKIES!**


	10. England's (Not) Wonderful Day! Part 1

**A/N: ...One moment (Hides behind Belarus) Okay, so...I A FREAKIN' DISGRACE! I'M SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING, PLEASE HURT ME OR KILL ME OR SHOOT AND LEAVE ME ALONE TO LAY IN A POOL OF MY BLOOD! PLEASE, I'M STILL A VIRGIN, CAN'T I AT LEAST GET LAID BEFORE I DIE?! I'M SO SORRY FOR UPDATING I WON'T MAKE YOU WAIT SO LONG NEXT! PLEASE I DON'T WANT TO DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII IIIIIIIE!**

**...**

**...**

**...**

**Okay, I'm good.**

**Disclaimer: This show of fabulousness and awesomeness does not belong to me. **

* * *

Once again, our story begins in a World Conference Meeting. This time, it was being held in Brazil. Unfortunately, Brazil had gotten the flu and couldn't host today's meeting, so Spain was put in charge of everything. The building was located in a secret location, somewhere by the Amazon Rainforest. The building was very old, it was made of marble and an old tiled roof.

Inside, the hosting Spaniard stood at the front of the room. He was bouncing excitedly, his green eyes were absolutely beaming. His face lit up even brighter as he saw that it was time to begin the meeting. He cleared his throat and forced his face to look somewhat serious.

"Alright, everyone, it is time to begin the meeting!" Spain announced, his composure falling and his bright smile shown brightly once more. Some of the countries chuckled at the man's excitement, while others' rolled their eyes, "Okay, so apparently our subject today is going to be...the current state of the economy."

This caused a series of groans from all around the room. However, England was unfazed. An uncharacteristic smile stretched across his face, his eyes showed no negative emotions whatsoever.

"Well, Angleterre, you seem awful happy. I haven't seen you this happy since you announced that your '_fairies_' were getting married." France chided, poking England in the side.

England rolled his eyes, smile never fading, and swatted France's hand away, "If you must know, you bloody frog, I'm just having a wonderful day today. That's all."

"And what exactly makes this day so _merveilleux_?"

"Well, today I woke up to see only sunshine around my entire home. Then I got my delivery of from the Tea Sets of the Month Club, followed by my order of this year's most elegant teas. Then I walked out to see that my bus to the airport was parked right outside my door! The bus driver explained that he was running very late today and gave me a free ride! I managed to catch my flight and got to sit first class, then I arrived here to see that Brazil ordered a limo to pick me up, I can't believe he would do something so kind, just for me-"

"He did that for all of us, aru. It was a way to say he was sorry for not hosting!"

"-Then I got here and was the first one to arrive, so I got to read some more of my novel and now we're here! But, all of that isn't even the best part!"

"Then what is it?" France asked, his face molded into complete and utter boredom.

"America and Italy AREN'T HE-"

"THE FUN HAS ARRIIIIIIIIIVED~! THANK YOU VERY MUCH!"

"Italy! Get to your seat! You are ten minutes late again!"

France smirked at England. The Brit twitched, but then brightened up once more, "Oh, what's a minor spot compared to this wonderful day~! At least, America i-"

"GUESS WHO'S BACK, BACK, BACK! BACK AGAIN, GAIN, GAIN! ALFIE'S BACK, BACK, BACK! SCREW A BRIT, BRIT, BRIT!"

"...Oh, fuck it." England grumbled slumping down in his chair. France chuckled and cheered, "There's the Angleterre I know~"

"America! Stop goofing off and get in your seat!" Germany growled, glaring at the two idiots who had just interrupted everything. Italy sat himself next to Germany while America found a seat by Canada.

The German sighed and said, "I'm sorry, Spain. Please, continue."

Spain nodded, "Um, okay. So, as I was saying, today's meeting is about the current state of the economy-"

"It sucks."

"We are fully aware it sucks, America. He meant, we have to think of how to fix it." Germany sighed, trying to control his irritation.

Spain nodded once more, then took a seat next to Romano. Germany stood and asked, "Okay, who's going first?"

America's hand shot straight up, he was going, "PICK ME! OH PICK ME!"

"Anyone?"

"ME, ME!'

"Anyone at all?"

"OH, ME, ME!"

"Okay, I guess I shall just draw from a ha-"

"HOLY MOTHER OF JESUS, PICK MMMMMMMMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE E!" America wailed, falling out of his chair and (epically) face planting on the ground.

Germany shook his head and said, "Fine! Just calm down, you idiot!"

America fist pumped, then scampered to the front of the room. He held out his hands in a sort of 'get ready' manner as he said, "I think...We should print...more money."

The room just stared at him for a moment before the American said, "Now...Let that sink in for a moment. Let your brains process the badassery-"

"You're a bloody fool!"

"You see this, dudes? This is someone who can't process the badassery-"

"C-Can I go now?"

"No way, Canadia! It's still my turn!"

"Who are you talking to, aru?"

"You guys are jerks."

"That was uncalled for!"

"Make pasta not war!"

"I bet England doesn't even know to take the pasta out of the box before cooking it..."

"Take that back you bloody frog!"

"Black sheep of Europe!"

"EVERYONE SHUT UP!" Germany bellowed, glaring at the idiotic nations.

"Is it time for lunch yet?" Spain asked. Just as he said that, a bell rang through the building, indicating that it was time for a break.

Germany sighed, "Alright, everyone be back her by 5:00 sharp!"

Italy hopped up and saluted, "Yes, sir!"

The nations just shook their heads and walked out of the meeting room. America waited back a bit to catch up with Italy, then the two walked out together.

* * *

"Dude, I'm so bored..."

"Ve~Me too...Wanna do that thing again?"

"Nah, that's only funny in England..."

"Wanna...Go to the zoo?"

"Done it."

"Um...Ve, we can...Um...Try and cheer England up. I heard that he was having a great day, but now he's all irritable again. We should help him have the best day ever, ve!"

"...Dude...YES."

* * *

**A/N: Okay, this is going to be another split chapter because it is about...4:00am and I have school tomorrow, or I guess it would be today ^-^U Be amazed by my amazing student skills. Anyway, once again I'm sorry for the delay, and the fact that this crappy chapter doesn't make up for it at all. But...if you still like this story than, I would absolutely love it if you reviewed! If you guys have any ideas you would like to share for how you want America and Italy to 'cheer up' England, I'd love to see them! I'll probably use all of them, and if I don't use yours, I will make a chapter that involves it somewhere. So, now that I've said my little bit, I'm gonna pass out now. Love you, bros!**

**Review = I loves you! (France: Honononoononononon, Me: Not like that!...And why are you getting closer to me?)**


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